A fairytale

Last night I had a dream, and I think it would actually make a pretty good kid's book.

Here goes:

Once upon a time, a poor man and his wife lived in a small cottage. They had 3 children, and to live, the man needed to sell objects from door to door. So every week he would leave and come back only a week later, with enough money to live for the next week.
In the land, a beautiful queen had a very expensive piece of jewlery, a rare diamond, but one day, while swimming in the lake, she lost it.
Now the poor man was walking along the path near the lake, and saw something shining. He turned around and picked it up. He immediately knew his wife would love it, but had no idea how valuable it really was. So he went back home and put it in a box so that he wouldn't be robbed while travelling. He would give it to her on their wedding anniversary in a month, he decided.
At the first house where he went to sell his goods, the man invited him inside to eat dinner, and at the table they discussed all the lastest news. That's when he discovered that the queen would give a gigantic reward to whomever would return her jewlery. The man kept quiet about having found it and decided that he would bring it to the queen as soon as he came home the next week.
Meanwhile, the wife decided to clean out the house, and found the box, as well as the jewlery. She immediately understood that he would probably give it to her for her anniversary, but since he wasn't home, decided to wear it until he came back so that she could enjoy it anyway.
The man was so excited about being able to finally live with his wife every day, once he received the reward, that he decided to come home a day early and see her sooner. This took her by surprise, and so she hid the diamond so that he wouldn't know she'd found it, and decided to put it back in the box only after he had left.
The man, upon finding the box empty, assumed it had been stolen and went searching for the thief throughout all the land. He vowed to not come home until he had found it. A month later, he caught one thief, but he didn't have the diamond. So the years passed, he caught many thieves and murderers, and became a quite famous hero, with a mysterious identity. He never forgot his wife but didn't dare go home after all this time with nothing to show for it. So his children grew up, the wife wore black because she assumed her husband had died, she mourned him, and so she wore the diamond every single day in memory of him.
After twenty years, old and grey, he was too tiered to continue his search, and so he went home. He found his wife, in tears, weeping over the diamond. He said her name and took her hand, explained where he was, what he was doing, and then saw it. She told him: "why didn't you come home? I missed you so much; I don't need all of the nice things you wanted to get me, i need YOU".

Bad day....?

I've been dragging along a headache for the last couple days, as well as, last night, a slight fever. (I think walking home in the rain a couple days ago didn't do me much good) So I didn't go to classes yesterday. But today, I was feeling slightly better, so I decided to go, despite the pouring rain and the fact that I would probably be 5 minutes late even if I took the bus. The thing is, I missed it by a minute. And one of the bus lines doesn't stop at that stop anymore, and the next bus was 30 minutes later. Obviously, in such a case, walking was the quickest solution.
Under pouring rain with non-waterproof shoes, even an umbrella doesn't help this to be a pleasent situation. So I got to the building, and made a nice discovery: there's a cafeteria right underneath the classroom part, so I got a nice hot cup of tea. But between walking perhaps an extra kilometer or so (you need to see the way to my classroom as a triangle. Trying to take the bus and walking from there is like being at one angle, walking down to another angle which happens to be the right angle, and walking from there to the other angle. MUCH longer), under the pouring rain (so not as fast) and taking a cup of tea and drying off, I was over half an hour late. Instead of disrupting the class, I decided to wait in the hall and do some math on a little table with a chair that was conveniantly put there, until the mid-class break. When I walked in at that point, I explained the situation to the teacher, and he was very understanding and nice and said that I should have come in anyway, no matter how late I was, and that it didn't matter so long as it didn't happen every week! To top it off, he's a GREAT math teacher!!
And today is Friday, which means I'm going home.

apple special event video

I've just finished watching it online... And I do wish I had waited. The problem with Apple is their stuff keeps getting cooler and cooler faster than I can spend my money... :(
My iBook is only one year old, and since then there has been iLife 06, the MacBook with intel chips, iSight...
My iPod is only 2 months old and since then... well you know if you've been on the Apple site.

I like the search feature in the new iPods.
At least I didn't buy a battery charger- the new ones are much smaller. (40% I think, I don't feel like checking my info- but I know it's way smaller) So that's my consolation.
My second consolation is that I at least didn't get the 60Go one.

iPod bus

Today I was walking in town, solving a couple of my problems... and I saw a bus. A bus painted top to bottom, throughout the entire length with album art, and an iPod nano. Even the windows on the bus were painted...
Now that's what I call a commercial. I think it's brand new, because I never did see it before, and considering Apple's iTunes 7 update, as well as the new iPods (I'm soooo glad I didn't get the 60Go a couple months ago!!)... it makes sense.
I've heard people say that the Zune will beat the iPod- I don't believe it.
Only one thing I'm not too excited about: iPod movies. 10$ is too much. I can get a DVD for that price. Granted it's a huge operation if I want to put it on my iPod, but if I want to watch a movie when travelling I just use my iBook- has more battery life anyway.
The games (especially Tetris!) sound fun though...

If I can get a picture of the iPod bus I'll put it up here and on iSmile, too :)

Problems

Problems: either you deal with them, or they deal with you. That was my main though this lunch break - because I have many problems to deal with.

Sometimes a problem will solve itself. Last year that happened with social security. If you hate spiders and there's one in your room, it might go away on its own if you're too afraid to squish it- but then again it might bite you in the night! Sometimes if you don't deal with it, it'll lash out on you so hard that it's even worse than it would have been had you dealt with it yourself.
It's a bit like the "howlers" in Harry Potter: red angry letters that, if you open them, a loud voice houls at you, yells at you... but if you don't open it yourself, it will eventually explode and the yelling will be so loud that absolutely everyone will hear what it says.

We have lots of "problems"- some we can ignore for awhile, some we just have to live with, and others need to be dealt with immediately. Some are so awful that we know that dealing with them might just cost us everything... so we assume that leaving well enough alone, ignoring it, will make it go away.

Imagine you have no insurance on your car. This isn't a problem if you're never stopped by the police and you never crash into anything. But the day one of those events occur... you're in deep trouble.
Imagine you've told a "small" lie. If the person leaves it at that, isn't inquisitive, and the issue never comes up again, you might not see any consequences. For instance you may say "I had a very important phone call from my bank, which is why I'm late", instead of admitting you were sleeping and didn't want to get up so early - that sort of lie probably won't catch up with you. But imagine you tell something about yourself to a friend, to make yourself look better. You might have to keep on lying to covor up your lie, the lies will get bigger and bigger and eventually it might blow up and destroy your friendship.

The main problem we all have is sin (don't let yourself be put off by the word- please read on and comment if you disagree). Most people ignore it, try to hide it, or decide to declare "it's not a problem!"- but it is. Some people try to do all three, which isn't logical. They say "it's not a problem"- but they doubt this enough to try to hide it, even from themselves, and therefore try to ignore it. If it wasn't a problem they would live it in the open. The other approach is to try to deal with it. Some people try to deal with it by trying to stop. This doesn't work. Try it- just for one thing- and if you're like me you won't last a week.
Others figure that since they can't stop, they may as well try to outweigh the sin by good works. Doing random acts of kindness is a good thing, but it doesn't erase the problem of sin. It just makes you a nice person.
The only way is to be forgiven and redeemed, purified, by Jesus Christ.

You can decide to deal with your problems now, or wait until they deal with you to start working on your problems, or, worse, wait until it's too late to do anything about them. You can get away with a lot for a long time, but not with everything forever.

My sister's new blog

My sister now has a new blog, you can read it here. It's a bit like her old one (and in french) but she is very artistic and takes beautiful pictures, so even if you don't understand french it's worth the visit!

First day of classes

Today is officially my first day of classes in Rennes 1.
When I got up this morning, I didn't know what groups I was in (the lists hadn't been updated yet and for some reason they had forgotten my name- I checked last night, the update came about mid-morning - which meant that I wasn't on the list in german class!) I also didn't know where my classes were, because last night the internet connection was so slow that it wouldn't load the university's class calendar. So I got there only 5 minutes early because it took me slightly longer than usual to walk over... And yet I had no trouble because I just followed people who I heard talking about the class I was going to.

I had 8 hours of classes today- a big day, considering that tomorrow I have 4 hours, and the rest of the week only 2 hours per day.
I was glad to find out I actually know some people who were with me in high-school. That was very helpful.
So I had B04 this morning, but as it turns out I had followed the beginning of that class last year so it was somewhat boring. And then I had german. I didn't take german last year, so I was overjoyed to find out I understood everything the teacher said! I just lost most of my own capacity to speak because the vocabulary and grammer doesn't come back that easily.
This afternoon, C02. A harder class, in theory.
And now I'm in OFI, "Outils formels pour l'informatique"- but my break is over so back to work!

Got my licence!!!

I just got the call from the driving school, and after having told my closest friends and family, here comes the news to all my blogging friends :)

I'm sooo happy! Especially since I was far from sure I would get it!

New links

I've been surfing lately, and I've found blogs I like. So here are the recent additions in my sidebar (quite a few, as I got behind)...

Post Secret

A day in the life...

Controlled Chaos

World of Yaxlich

books, cats, life

So... If you want to check those blogs out, they are definately worth the visit.

My licence

OK, now that I've explained how it works, may as well tell you how it went for me this morning. I was first to pass the exam, and I had to drive in town for 5-10 minutes, until we got to a residential area. There, I was asked to backup into a street - and I completely messed up that manoeuvre.

From there, I drove some more, mostly on the freeway, and then came back into town, and had to park, which I did rather sucessfully! Then I had to check the tires, make sure they weren't torn on the side, etc... and I also had to use the back window-wipers.
So I'm not sure if I got my licence or not, in Rennes, since many inspectors got attacked after giving the results directly, they are always given by mail now. So I'm hoping to find out tomorrow. I'll keep you posted!

French driver's licence

I figured that today I'd tell you a bit about the french driver's licence. The exam lasts 35 minutes, and costs 60 euros (so it's a bad idea to mess up because then you have to pay for more lessons and for another exam).

There are two manoeuvres, one of them is necessarily in reverse.
There are also two questions, one about the ouside of the vehicle, and one about the inside. For example, I could be asked to check if there's enough oil in the motor, or if my break lights work. For the interior, it could be turning my lights on, or opening my window (that's the easiest question on the list!)

I also need to drive for 10 minutes in town, and the rest of the time out of town (either on the highway or a country road or both).

There are 3 possible grades: A, B, and C. C is if I make a terrible dangerous mistake, B is if I make a few tolerable mistakes and A is good. On the questions I can only get A or B.
Everything else is graded A, B or C. I get my driver's licence if I have at least one A and no C.

I'm going to pass it in the southern part of Rennes, which is somewhat a calmer area than the north, except for one particular street near Clemenceau, and the roundabout at La Poterie.
Apparantly in the south they are very picky about trajectories at turns.

I'm guest blogger for today!

Check out my review on Bestest Blog, or just read it here from the comfort of my own blog ;)

If you like reading teaching anecdotes told with lots of humor, as well as other funny stories,A day in the Life is the blog you need to read! (Or should I say, the garden you need to visit?)

She is an excellent "gardener" (blogger), and as such, always has "fresh flowers" (recent posts). There's a new bloom nearly every day.
It's a beautiful garden, I personnally enjoy blogs with an interesting template, it highlights the content and makes you want to read more.

Quilldancer teaches in a school as well as a Sunday-school class, and always has interesting stories to tell about the children, and even better, parents. The class pets vs. parent episode is hilarious.
She also gets confused with employees in Walmart, with hilarious outcomes.
She loves teaching, she loves her students, and her students love her, too. She asked them to "grade" her as a teacher, and the lowest grade she got on her report card was a B+.

She also has a "Wordless Wednsday", where she posts funny pictures and videos.

So if you havn't already, go to her garden and if you like it, leave a "bouquet" (comment). Tell her that Bestest Blog and Alessia sent you!

IE, comments and french culture

Thank you for commenting and reassuring me that my blog is indeed popup-less... I'm sorry I havn't had much time to get back to you, visit blogs, etc... and my linking hasn't been updated in awhile as well, because I just started back in college this week and I'm passing my driver's licence exam on Friday, and in France it is hard. So don't expect to get too much blogging out of me for a week or so, a post here and there but not much.

I didn't know that IE7 had tabbed browsing, thank you for pointing that out to me. Must admit I don't use Windows unless I'm undergoing serious internet withdrawl (like now... I can't use my mac here yet).

OK... And here's one off-topic cultural item: I love smoothies... They've finally come to France (I've been waiting for that for years now!) and it's really nice because it's so hot out right now.
That's pretty random I suppose, but I guess it's interesting because most people don't know that Dr. Pepper is unknown here, nobody's ever been to a Taco Bell and smoothies are a novelty.

Blogexplosion=blind?

I was curious to try blogexplosion. I actually read some of the blogs in their random blog button and left comments and all that, and liked it well enough.

But then I tried submitting both of my blogs. Apparantly this blog looks scrambled in IE and is un-readable. Well, I got on a PC, tried IE, and nothing odd appeared except for my "get firefox" message. And I realize there's a little problem in my CSS I havn't had time to fix, but it does not scramble my blog, and it does not make it unreadable. In fact, you won't even notice it unless you go into my archives. (if you have a problem with my blog, please let me know and tell me exactly what browser you're using)

As for iSmile, they say there are empty popups. Now that is weird. I didn't put any code to put popups on it, and whenever I open the blog from any browser, I never get popups, even when I disable the popup blocker. (do you see any popups there? If so, leave me a comment and I'll try to get rid of them.)

I don't know what the BlogExplosion moderators are talking about.

Pff... who needs BlogExplosion anyway? On blogexplosion, I bet most people are just waiting until the 30 seconds are up to get their credits and don't even take a glance at my blog.

Explorer Destroyer

I don't like Internet Explorer. Really. Not just because it's Microsoft, although I suppose that's reason enough ;) I do use Microsoft Office though, but I've been recently converted to LaTeX and rarely use Word anymore.

ANYWAY- back to IE bashing :p

I don't like not being able to do tab browsing. I'm addicted to tabbed browsing. I figure I have enough open windows as it is (all my Gimp projects, e-mails, iTunes, Adium -thank goodness Adium has tabs, too!- iSync...). So when I get on a PC, even more windows are open, my desktop is a real mess, so tabbed browsing is even more handy. I use Firefox whenever I can (that is when I have the authorization to install it). On my mac, I like Safari.

I don't like popup ads. How come IE doesn't block them?

I hate spyware.

And I really don't like the design of it. If I'm going to spend 8+ hours per day on my computer, I like to have a pretty interface.

Firefox is nice. It's free. Better yet, it's Open Source.

So I think that using level 1 of Explorer Destroyer is actually doing a public service. It's just a message on the top of my blog for people who are using the browser, and it doesn't stop people from reading my blog normally, so I think it's just a suggestion.
If you have money to get a new computer, just get a mac. Or if you don't, why don't you consider intalling Linux? If neither of these options appeal to you, at least get Firefox, it's worth it. And if you don't like it (for some obscure reason I couldn't imagine), you can always revert to IE.

For all you fellow bloggers, check out Explorer Destroyer. It's easy and fast to add to your template. And if you use AdSense, you'll get 1$ for every referral to Firefox. Personally, I don't. I'm not doing this for the money.

Another Sony Ericsson theme!

Here is another adiumy, the Lederhosen one. I love Adiumy he's so cute. I download them off AdiumXtras. And then I let my creative juices flow to make the theme :)
You can't tell here, but I figured out how to make the SMS composition screen look like the Mail.app e-mail composition window.
Figures... I get a new phone and the first thing I do is create my own themes and sync it with my iBook. I havn't even called anybody with it yet!

making V600i themes

I downloaded the software and some starter themes here.
From there, I just fire up the gimp and it's fun, fun, fun :)

Here is the main page of the theme, I've been having a blast making this Yoda adiumy one!
There were no adium themes on the website, so I've been working on it.
My theme is only good enough to go on my own phone for now, so I'm not going to be uploading it. And also I doubt there are very many adium users with my exact phone... Sooooo it's pretty pointless. Except to make me happy :D

syncing the V600i and the mac

I just got this cute new phone. I'm happy now, but at first I was extremely frustrated with it. It just wouldn't work with iSync. Then I found this hint and it helped A LOT.
If you do this, back up your .plist file before making the changes (Open With TextEdit), and you should be OK. Also, when you're done, you need to quit iSync and THEN, only then, add your device to your device list. That's where I went wrong and got very frustrated, but now it works like a charm. It syncs with my iCal, and with my address book. I love syncing things :)
My only remaining frustrations are that it's impossible to buy an additional memory card, and my iBook doesn't seem to realize anything is plugged in when I use the USB cable. But as long as the Bluetooth works, I guess I don't need the USB that much. Except that it's a better way to "unload" my pictures, which will be necessary since the memory card is so small. (like 24 Mo if I remember correctly)

I think it's kind of lame that you have to be slightly geeky or at least very persistant to do something that should be easy. Most people don't care for editing .plist files (I don't really mind that much).

As for the phone menus, I'm still used to my Alcatel phone's menus, which were a charm to work with. But I'll eventually get the hang of it.
I don't care for the fact that there's a Vodafone live button on the side. I'm afraid I'll connect (and pay big bucks for it) by mistake.
But I love the Visio :)

iSmile

Please check out this new blog. It's a brand new project I started and I hope it'll gain momentum... It's meant as a tribute to my favorite computers, iPods and fruit :)

The idea is to post a picture of yourself with your favorite apple product on your blog, put a comment, link the blog on yours, and I'll link you and put your picture up...

Blog vision

The Bestest Blog of All Time has got me thinking. I consistantly don't want this to be categorized as a "personal" blog because I feel I have very recurrent themes. But I decided to change categories. Before, I was in the "Writing" category (but nobody seemed to care about my Prodigal Son series (check the archives if you want to read it)). Now I'm in the Internet/Technology section. I tend to talk a lot about geek stuff, but still throw in an occasional post about other things, such as spiders, my *personal* life, college, or my faith, or a book I'm reading. I find it very difficult to stick to one theme.
So what are my options?

I could decide to orient my blog in one direction or another and limit my "other" posts to one designated day a week.

I could give up and become a "personal" blog- but honestly, that's not really what I want. I wish there was a "randomness" category. Because I think there's a difference between "personal" and "random". Most of my "real-life" friends don't even really visit my blog that much, although some do. I don't make a habit of talking of myself beyond that subtle limit of what I think might interest random-blog button surfers.

I could decide to orient it according to the title, Waiting, Wishing. Perhaps say "I am waiting for Leopard to come out, and wishing I had a MacBook". "I am an aspiring geek."
That way none of my posts will be off-topic. And considering my major in college, technology will be a big theme on here. More than this summer- I tend to read book after book during the long summer nights. So I tend to blog about litterature and philosophical themes in summer.

I do like the "one day a week" idea, though. So, let's say, Saturday is random day. Expect funny pictures, random things I found online, etc...

A light in the darkness...

Here are some positive things to end my day:

Billy Mac, from Critique My Blog, a blog that reviews other blogs, talks about Adsense and a lot of other topics that interest most bloggers, has reviewed my blog. Here is what he says:

Here is a cool blog by a young girl who is doing what blogs were made for in the first place. Expression. I'm guessing you're not from the USA from the (A) sticker you have to put on your car. Nice job with the blog...I'd keep posting and keep adding content. Keep a running journal and you'll have fun looking back years from now to see how your blog has progressed and matured. Maybe add some adsense, that's my only critism. Nice job.

Thank you :) And yes, I am from France, but blog in english by choice. About the adsense, I don't think I have enough visitors to justify messing up my template. :p I just don't like ads in general.

Another positive thing is that next Thursday, I've been booked to be "Guest Blogger" on the bestest blog of all time, which is a nice place to read random blogs. I'll be reviewing a blog I like and giving it a "Bestest blog of the day" award :)

So despite killer spiders, life isn't that bad.

Spider season is open!!

In every sense of the term. Of course, thoses evil creatures are omnipresent. All year round. But they get worse in September/October. They are big. They are black. And they are in the house.
I saw one. But it's so late I can't even do anything about it except pray it's too large to get in my room through the crack in the door. And pray it will be in the same place tomorrow morning so my dad can invest in a bazooka.

The second sense is that I want to start a worldwide conspiracy. We need to exterminate evil spiders. Especially big black ones and ones that bite people. I guess daddy long legs are ok. Little tiny ones I don't mind so much.

If you like the idea, leave a comment, and post about this on your blog. We might create a support group of people trying to get spiders out of their houses. I mean I understand full extermination, aside from being impossible, might not be best for the ecosystem, but I at least need them OUT of my house.

How come only the cute, furry, animals are in danger of extinction? Why not mosquitoes and spiders?

testing MySpace

Now what compelled me to do that?

My best friend thought that would be a good way to keep the whole group in touch this year without actually skyrocketing our phone bills and overloading our e-mail boxes with pictures, news, and all that.

I read an article in the newspaper about it's success. So I guess I supposed it wasn't as bad as it looks.

So... much as I was reluctant to do so, I set up an account. And I updated my profile.

The french beta is really not ready to be online at all. Good thing I speak english!
I don't like the fact that you're a MySpace "loser" if you don't have any "friends". I really don't care for that sort of community. Doesn't seem all that much better than skyblog. I also don't like the way they manage blogging. I don't like the layout. I don't like the profile settings. I just plain don't like it.

And what I really don't like is that you're not sure what you're seeing. Your admin interface? Your "blog" as it appears to your friends? Something entirely different?

There are too many menus. I hate menus. Seriously. Well I don't mind menus that much if I can move them around as I like, customize them. And find ways to avoid them altogether.

MySpace. Ringo. So many services to keep track of birthdays, friends, photos, whatever. Gets confusing. And none are usable unless you sign up.

Crabby mood tonight...
Maybe MySpace isn't that bad. I guess I've only been using it for a day. There are some things you don't like from the get-go, but that are nice in the long run. Just take getting used to. Don't know if that's the case here

administrative mumbo-jumbo

I just called my best friend and found out that we have the same administrative mumbo-jumbo to mess with...

This involves retrieving a paper in University A, bringing it to University B to be signed, going to the library to get another paper, and bringing it all back to University A (I used different names because we're actually transferring from opposite universities!!! Might be easier to just switch identities :p)

Let's just hope the offices will be open.

I also need to get pictures of me taken, buy enveloppes, stamps, photocopy every possible and imaginable document that could be asked of me, go see a doctor (which is a joke: he'll take one look at me and sign the paper saying I can do sports!!! then again sometimes they listen to my heartbeat and take a look at my knee...).

I'm going to have QUITE a week!!!

Happy Birthday!!

Happy birthday iBook :)

It's one year old, today...

Today, I saw Daniel again after a long time without seeing him at all, which was nice.
I also talked to a very good friend I havn't seen in over a year, which was really fun. But I left msn abruptly, forgetting that's rude, and now I feel really bad. I tend to leave without giving it a second thought because I'm usually back in time for it to barely matter. But then again there are times when you just don't have time to say goodbye- some things just can't wait. I'm so used to talking to people who are on 24/7 that... well... I tend to assume the person will still be online when I get back, or be back on within a couple hours.
Well, I'm forgetting that I didn't see that guy online for over a year and a half... so I must be dreaming. I hope he doesn't take it personally.

Other than that, I got some books as late birthday gifts :)
And I've advanced quite a bit in my administrative stuff...

AND- a new car!!!!!!!! Not all mine (I don't even have my licence yet) but I can drive in on week-ends. It's a cute 8-year-old Citroën Saxo :)

The 1998 version

For those of you who care, here is an article about the french editions. I have the 1998 version.
It's really worth being read. I wish I had the missing episodes. I'm glad I have that version and not the 2004 and 2005 ones, they have deplorable translations of dialogues, and even worse coloring (why don't they just keep it the way it was in 1998?)

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck

I admit it: I'm a fan.
I used to read about my favorite duck when I was a kid, and I actually own the collector's La Jeunesse de Picsou from 1998, which, today, can only be found on ebay for about 30-40 euros. (original price: about 30 francs)
It's one of the best comics ever.
And I was just feeling really bad I missed out on the re-edition of them in 2004 and 2005, with extra episodes. This came about when I bought the most recent collector hors-série with Don Rosa's comics for my sister's birthday, and now I wish I had all the "in-between" episodes that aren't in the 1998 edition.
My best bet is to buy them in english, for the simple reason that it's a book, and not a magazine. So it's not a collector's item, but it's the original version or close enough, and brand new. There's actually a new one coming out. There's the first one that contains episodes 1-15, and then this new one, coming out on September 6th, contains all the "in-betweens" and the episode 0.

I'm quite tempted to get them. For less than 15 euros each I can have the original (aka in english) version, brand new (and not with a ripped cover, like my collector's edition now has: it has been read and re-read by my entire family).

The end of ResExcellence...

*gasp* what is to become of me??? It was one of my favorite sites...
There were so many cool ways to customize your mac, it taught me everything I know practically... And the forums are closed, too... I come home from vacation to that... Was gone all summer so I didn't see it coming.
I'm so bummed out :(

I just found This page, and I think it explains a lot.
Personnally I was enchanted by the mac community, I've always found the forums helpful, and although some people can be rude, I just always figured that was "life".
I know that whenever I've had a problem, if I do my research myself first everywhere I can think of and if I explain my problem, as well as everything I've tried, as clearly as possible, everybody has always been very helpful.
I'm sorry to hear that this isn't true everywhere.
And I'm sorry if I've ever been rude...
I can understand why the site was shut down, and I do hope somebody else will be able to take it over.

On a funnier note, this page cracked me up. Especially the image. I hope it's ok to post it on my blog, along with a link to the post. If not, I'll take it off.

my HD icon

In case any of you want to have it, or have one with your own desktop image, just leave me a comment on this post with your e-mail adress and I'll send you the icon, and you can also send me a screenshot of your desktop and I'll make you a personalized one. I also have a couple pink ones with cherry blossoms.
Feel free to check out my AdiumXtras as well (cf. sidebar).
I like making stuff :D
I can also make 14-inch iBooks, powerbooks, I can send you icons for System Preferences with colorized Apples, and I can colorize any of your application icons, (or I can try!!)

Confusion

This post was actually too long, so I shortened it.

My biggest problem with having lots of things to do is I never know where to START on a problem. Once I've started it, I can generally finish. Same for school: if I have to write a paper, if I can find ONE idea, the rest generally come naturally.

Right now, the most important thing in my life isn't installing Linux, but I NEED to get it done.
It's saving all the documents off the PC that need to be kept and putting them back on that bugs me. I'm not sure exactly how well the iPods will work with Rhythembox, and I'm not quite yet sure where to store everything. On my iBook? On an iPod (not mine, my disk is formatted for mac-only)? Or just get an external disk, we'll need one eventually anyway?
It's not like I actually have much space left on my iBook, as you can see.

The most important problem for me to solve right now involves scholarships, social security, etc...
which means that I need to work on scholarships first because that's what gives me the right to have free social security, but for that I *think* I already need to be signed up in university. But I can't be signed up until I have social security. Oh and let's not even mention that my files need to be transferred from my old university to my new one and I'm not even sure of the procedures for that.
I'm quite confused.

Battery Exchange Program iBook G4 and PowerBook G4

If you have a powerbook or an iBook, your battery may be a security hazard, and Apple will recall it and send you a brand new one, free of charge.
Kind of nice, I was starting to get an alarming amount of loadcycles!
Battery Exchange Program.
It's for 12" and 15" ibooks and powerbooks (not 14")...

Scarlet Letter...

Pretty soon (if all goes well), I'll be able to place this sticker on the car :D

OK... OK I'll explain... I'm not bent on committing adultery.
In France, young drivers need to place that sticker on their car for 3 years (not quite sure why it's an "A" though... if anybody know's I'd be glad to find out why) and have a lower speed limit than everybody else and less points on their driver's licence (6 instead of 12)... So I'm not exactly excited about the sticker, but I am excited about being allowed to drive soon!
My exam is on September 8th!!!!

Apart from that I'd like an Apple sticker on my car when I have one of my own... :)

Courage

Why is it that when you build up both the courage and the motivation to do something important, it isn't possible to do it?
Is it precisely because it's not possible? So it seems easier? I'm not certain of that- in some cases I guess that would account for it, but not always. Sometimes courage just comes when it comes, like a "déclic"- a revelation, and you know something needs to be done. You just can't do it right away.

Projects and a rant on the point of life (of my blog, really)

Yes, I'll rant on the point of this blog, too... Just thank me that I won't rant on and on on the point of life... lol

I'm not sure when I'll actually have time for all of this, I've been quite busy lately and it's not likely to change until at least October...
But I do have some plans and dreams and hopes and wishes...

I'm WAY behind in my webdesign... I have at least 2 or 3 projects to work on (for family, friends, and yes, even this blog... there's a bug somewhere in the template that I can't seem to fix- I could if I had time to- but I tend to forget... AND for a new blog, more later in the post!!!)

I also need to work on making the family PC usable. For now, it bugs all the time. And Windows is getting on everybody's nerve (especially mine, I'll admit), so I need to put Linux on it :)

I need to figure out the social security stuff... Free for me, cuz I'm a student, but still a LOT of paperwork...

I need to finalize my inscription to my new univesity...

I need to pass my driver's licence.

And last but not least, I have a new blog idea in mind... top secret... I've already written a few posts on paper, jotted down ideas as they came... I think it might be more interesting than this one, in the sense that it'll actually have a fixed theme, this one is more of a "jot-down-the-thoughts-as-they-come" sort of blog- which obviously interests only a select audience, and only for a short time. I won't abandon this one though, I like it too much for that...
This blog is a sort of therapeutic blog for me. Patience is the virtue I lack the most. So I use this blog to vent, or work on it, try to reason with myself, perhaps bring a chuckle to my readers, or help or whatnot, although I'll gladly admit humor isn't my "thing", either. I'm sure nobody's cracked up reading my blog. Oh well. That's life.

And I'm certainly forgetting some plans.

cruisin'

I'm back from the island of ré (which explains the lack of posts here!!)....

As usual, it was a wonderful trip: walks on the beach, swimming in the waves nearly every afternoon, enjoying the beauty of the island, eating the crabs my dad caught in the morning...
But I think the best part was the cruise we went on, with my family, my grandfather, aunt and cousins... From St Martin to l'île d'Aix, and with a tour of Fort Boyard, we saw it from every angle. We also went under the bridge of the island, and it was soooo fun!! The weather was beautiful, there was no wind in the morning, but in the afternoon there was some and that was fun too, all the waves splashing water on us, the wind blowing in my hair, the waves sparkling in the sun, all this with the Corrs singing in my ear (i love my iPod!)
I also wasn't sea-sick at all, and for the first time was able to appriciate why people love boats so much, love navigating... Because I do too!!!!
I was so excited to get into the port of La Rochelle... It was beautiful, all the towers...
I'll eventually put up some pictures.

Sneak peak at Leopard

Click the link and behold!!! I'm sooo excited, although I probably won't have the money to buy it right away...

Visitor stats, or why do people google a URL?

I was looking at my stats, and I noticed that 2 people found my blog by googling my URL...
What's up with that?

1. What's the point in putting a URL in google, if you already know where you're going?

2. How in the world did they know MY URL? My URL is long, it is unusual and complicated, and I don't know anybody in Italy. Lucky guess?
If it was just Waiting, wishing, I could understand. But adding alessia afterwards is almost like the person already knew my blog :p

Also, I suppose people found my recent post :)
My OS X user stats exploded! They went from a usual 5% of users to 17% :)

top 10 free OS X apps

All the following applications are for Mac OS X, and at least have free trial versions that can used (and re-used...)
Some are to be used with caution, some have questionnable uses but can come in handy, and I'll provide all the website links for you.
This is a special post to celebrate post #100 on this blog!!!

1. Adium

I like Adium because you can use all your instant messaging accounts on it (msn, aim, gmail, yahoo, etc...) simultaneously. I also like it because you can download lots of Xtras, some of which I made, I like the fact that it is open-source and that it's so good that mac-users will never need to use msn's awful software!!!

2. SizzlingKeys

This is REALLY cool if you like listening to your background music while working. You can configure your own keyboard shortcuts to change songs, pause your song, etc... And you can configure the floater to look really nice on your desktop. It's free!

3. Growl

This is REALLY COOL and why Windows will never amount to anything :p... It works with iTunes, Mail, Adium, and other applications to notify you for some events. You can configure the floater to look nice on your desktop.

4. Senuti

This wonderful application will allow you to do the only thing iTunes will not: copy music from your iPod to your computer. This has many legal applications: backing up the music on your hard drive, saving space to put all your heavy developper apps which take Go upon Go of space on your poor hard drive, or even just transfering your music from your old mac to your new mac :)

5. VLC

Now illegal in France, but I don't see why. Anyway most media players are fussy. This one isn't too much. It'll allow you to read even .wma files without downloading Windows Media Player *shudders*. Excellent for watching DivX, DVDs, and home videos when QuickTime gets fussy.

6. Amnesty

Dashboard is nice. But I don't like opening it. I like having my widgets on my Desktop and closing them when I'm sick of them. You can enter a terminal command to make this possible without downloading Amnesty, but I still like Amnesty because it allows you to change your widget's size, rotate it, change it's transparency, etc... It's 20$, which is a lot, but I've been using the trial version, which works very well :)

7. ClearDock

Ever get sick of the color of your dock? Change it! You can also work on the transparency, and the border. WAY cool. Unsanity also has other cool haxies but this is the only free one.

8. HandBrake

This is a DVD to MPEG-4 ripper/converter. That doesn't sound very legal, but there is a legal use I like: for those of us with video iPods, it's nice to put our home videos on it without having to buy the pro version of Quicktime, or even to put a film we legally bought to watch on the plane, for example. PLuuuus, the dock icon looks really cool :)

9. CyberDuck

An excellent FTP client :)

10. Coconut apps

These are really cool to know if there's an open network in the area, or how well your battery is doing, or where your mac was built.


OK, well those are just a few of my favorites. I think with all those you'll have time to get the most out of your mac :)

it's frustrating to wait when you're ready...

Waiting is OK when you're not ready.
Waiting is OK when you're not sure.
Waiting is OK when you're scared to death.

Waiting is annoying when you're aching to do something you could do, but aren't allowed to do yet.
When it would be so very practical and wonderful,
when it's something you know you'd enjoy and you know it would make other people's lives easier if you could do it.
When it would simplify travelling.
When it would make life as a whole easier.

Waiting is hard when everyone is doing it around you.
Even people who shouldn't.
When all your friends look at you in disbelief: "but I started when I was 16!"
When for a long time you believed you wouldn't have to wait so long but things didn't turn out quite as planned.
When you could probably get away with not waiting... after all, lots of people do, you just need to be careful...

I'm ready to drive. I'm good at it. I feel confident on the road. I believe I'll get my driver's licence right away, or if I don't, I'll miss not by much. I love driving. It would be sooooo practical. But I must wait. Wait until the lists aren't so full. Wait until September, when I could have been ready in July.

Some things just can't be undone

Here are a few thoughts on the last book of Liz Curtis Higgs' trilogy. This post will mainly be about the evolution of my feelings about Rose. Do not read this post unless you don't care about spoilers. You are officially warned :p
I originally titled this post "Whence Came a Prince"- but I believe I have explained things sufficiantly for it to be interesting even to people who havn't read the books.

At the end of the second book, I truely despised Rose. I wished she had died as her friend had. She had reasons to be angry with her sister, obviously- but that's no reason to steal her husband and child and then rub it in by asking terrible questions. And it is also no reason to resort to witchcraft.
Also her motives for wanting a child utterly disgusted me. And her methods, even more.
I was also disgusted by the decision of the church- and it just didn't seem to me to be a realistic course of action. Not really. Two wrongs don't make a right. Sometimes, even if things got the way they are by wrongdoing, the best thing isn't to try and fix them, but leave best alone.
She and Jamie had already been living as husband and wife for a year. They had a child together and were genuinely in love. Everyone had believed, including themselves, that they were rightfully married.

For example, in the Bible, David married Saul's daughter, who was in love with him. But he had to flee from home, for his life was threatened by Saul. He had no choice. And Saul gave her away, certainly against her will, to another man.
Years later, David was king. He had other wives already, but, to prove a point, went to take his first wife back, when she was finally settled with that other man, who obviously loved her. It's a heartbreaking story.

Sometimes situations cannot be restored to how they *should* be.
In the case of the book, "restoring" the situation meant seperating a couple, and making a man marry the sister of the woman he loves, while he doesn't love the sister in question, taking Ian, their child, away from his rightful mother and giving him to an immature 16-year-old. To top it off, Leana had truely repented, and was a woman of faith, walking with God (which the pastor eventually realized), but her sister had nearly died from dabbling in witchcraft (which was a secret she only knew).

Some things just can't be undone. And trying to un-do them just makes the situation worse.

So, back to Whence Came a Prince. In the end, Rose dies after a tragic miscarriage of her twins. She had changed a lot in the book, she had repented, and everything, but I do think that it was the consequence of her past mistakes. She had dabbled in witchcraft to get married, pregnant, and she had cursed her father, stolen from him... I felt sorry for her, because by the end of the book you do, like Jamie and Leana did, forgive her and love her no matter how hard it was to do so. Sometimes even though you get forgiveness you can't undo what's done and have consequences to deal with.

Something that always bothered me in the Bible was the death of David and Bath-Sheba's first child. One of the only innocent parties. And this was after David's repentance.

Another long post, but interesting, I hope. I tried to explain things so that even those who havn't read the books might understand.

The truth will set you free

This has potential for being another LONG post. But I don't want it to be. I think the bulk of it is in the title.
This phrase has two meanings, both true.

The first one, the original one, means that Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life, will set you free :)

The second one, which I will explore more in this particular post, means that lies will ensnare you, entrap you, and sometimes it may seem easier to keep some things under wraps, but no matter how painful it is to have the truth out, at least you have nothing to hide, and you are free. You're not trying to keep secrets, people may judge, point a finger, stare, be hurt, but you are free.

The question here, is: is this freedom worth the cost, which may be a personal cost, or one that affects another person deeply?

I was thinking of this in relation to the series of books I was reading, especially Fair is the Rose. Leana was much happier when nobody knew how her marriage to Jamie came about. When the truth was out, she lost her husband, her child, and had to sit on the repentance stool- all of which was utterly unfair. But at the same time, she was free.
Telling the truth isn't the easiest way, and sometimes it's better to not tell some things to the whole wide world- in Leana's case I think it would have been perfectly OK if she never told everyone, morally- but I was admirative that she told the truth to the kirk session even though it cost her everything.

I think that sometimes it's best to confess things that have remained hidden- but that doesn't necessarily mean everyone has to know everything. Sometimes they can remain hidden, but I'm not convinced that's the best way.

Feel free to comment on this post. Here are a few questions to reflect on, which would be worth commenting:

*for those who have read the book I'm referring to, what would you have done in Leana's situation?

*what should David have done instead of murdering Bath-Sheba's husband? What do you think would have happened if he had done that instead? I've been told this isn't the best example, if you can think of a better one feel free to comment on that

*do you think that if you've lied to a person in the past, and there is no way the person could possibly be affected by it presently, or ever find out, unless YOU tell, should you confess anyway?
And if you do decide to tell, who should you tell? Just the people immediately affected, or a wider audience?
And what about the case where it's a past affair? Is it the same thing as a lie, or should it receive a different treatment?

Over and over again...

When will this EVER end? Why do I do the things I do? Why do things start to get better in my life and then why do I fall into the same awful traps again and again? It's like I don't want to be free from all that, but I do!
I can pray, ask for God to intervene in my life, to help me, and He always does, he is always faithful... but then I mess up again and after awhile I'm just tiered of always confessing the same sins, asking sorry again and again- my repentance is always genuine, and I'm fine for awhile- but a few years down the road, or a few months, or a few weeks, I blow it all again.
I'm always sincere.

Guilt really gets to me and I just want to be free. Free. I long to be free, I long for the day I'll believe...
I can be thinking I'm doing fine and then realize I just chewed someone out again, or had a bad attitude, or judged someone, or gossiped... Or, worse, that I have been ignoring God, havn't talked to him in days, and don't even *care* what He thinks. And yet I do.
It's incredibly frustrating.
What makes it worst is I know the answers- I've read my Bible and listened to enough sermons and lived enough to know better and to know the way out. I can give good advice, even give it to myself. But following it is another matter...
It's like in my driving. Every now and then I'll make a mistake, and Rémi will stop me and ask me what happened, and I'll tell him : "this is what I should have done, this is what I did, and this is why. This is how I could have avoided the mistake". And then he'll be like "so why didn't you do it?" and I never know why. I think things are the same with my faith.
Faith and driving have so many parallels.
The answer is very simple: "Read your Bible and pray every day" - "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart" - "Love him with all your heart"
Why does it have to be so simple? Sometimes I'm much better at doing the hard stuff. And it's much more embarrassing to mess up when it should be simple.
How can I still mess up when Christ lives in me? When I am filled with his Spirit? When I love him? When I'm trying to follow him?

It's so tempting to set myself rules to keep myself on the right tracks- but then I want to break them for they are "only" rules I made up. It's so tempting to say "I'm back for good this time, Lord, I won't dissappoint you". I'm so afraid to fail that I dare not even try anymore.
Or I end up legalistic. And my faith becomes a set of rules. And I become judgemental.
What does this sound like? been there, done that... I've said that so many times before. I've expressed those frustrations countless times in my journals.

When I was a kid, I loved reading the Old Testament. I enjoyed the stories (even though I didn't understand them- it could be fairly humorous to post "The Old Testament, read by a kid") but mostly I wanted to read the Bible like any book and I always got stuck in the Prophets so I kept starting back in Genesis. I made it to the New Testament sometime in my early teens!
My thoughts, after awhile, were "I see a pattern here: Isreal trusts God, God delivers Isreal, they are happy, but stop relying on him, sin against him, ignore him and get idols, and then God punishes them and then they repent and it goes on and on and on like that."
When I was a kid I thought "that's pretty stupid"- and it is. But I'm pretty stupid as well. I'm turning around in my desert when I should be in the promised land!!
I think their main problem was that they wanted to go to the Promised Land, but they also liked some aspects of Egypt. They couldn't get in until they had "divorced" Egypt. I won't get anywhere so long as I still have any regards or regrets of my life on my own.

House

I have just finished reading the book co-authored by Peretti and Dekker.
Imagine finding yourself after a fishy car accident in an old house with strange hosts and another couple in a similar predicament, and then being told three "rules": 1. God came to my house. I killed God. 2. I will anyone who comes to my house like I killed God. 3. Bring me one dead body and I might let rule 2 slide..
(quoting by memory here, so it may not be the exact words, but close enough)

Makes you think. It's a good thriller, I've always been a big fan of Peretti's. I wouldn't go so far as to say this is my favorite book by him (I think The Oath, or The Visitation or Monster would get that title. I can't really choose. Perhaps The Visitation.) But it is nonetheless excellent, exciting, and a page-turner. It's actually much scarier than his other books, I'm guessing this comes from the association with Dekker. But perhaps a bit sloppier in the storyline- normally I'm crying out in pain because I long to know what's coming next- here it was going so fast I could barely breathe. I didn't even see the 300-something pages go by!!!
A good summer read. But I guess the problem is that since it's less a thinking book than an action book, I wouldn't enjoy reading it again and again. Other books by Peretti always have hidden facettes to discover.
Until the end I wondered who would kill who and what would happen, who would survive, and I wondered for a long time about the mirror. I was very happy to understand in the end. But I had the intuition about the "bad guy" from the 3d chapter.
The only problem with the book is that it is somewhat confusing in the basement, you tend to forget where the characters are. Perhaps that was intentional: the house seems to have a mind of it's own.

Apart from that, there was one thing that really bothered me, but saying it would be a sort of spoiler. So don't read this next paragraph if you're planning on reading it.
What bothers me is it's recurrent. In The Oath, the woman dies too. I think she could have been saved, should have been. I think this woman was perhaps a bit further away- but not nearly as far as Stephanie. I wish she hadn't died. I've always seen her as a victim. Of course she sinned- havn't we all? I really wanted her to be free from what was haunting her in her past. I genuinely feel for women who have been abused, and her whole life she was trying to figure it out- by being with men, by studying psychology, etc... And in the end she seemed to understand she had been going about it wrong- and for no good reason (IMHO) was killed off. She was the only "interesting" character, the only one I found to have much depth. And even then... The others were too stereotyped and sometimes just plain annoying.

The end wasn't really that surprising. Online lots of people have said the "message" wasn't very clear- I disagree. I found it clear. Peretti's books are novels, not sermons. Novels that make you think, of course, but still novels.
Think fiction. :p I only wish perhaps that we could have seen more into the character's thoughts and feelings towards the end, their inner struggles...
I think the story was very much along the lines of The Oath- that is, practically allegorical- and it also has the same "message". I got more into the other one though, partly because I'm "into" dragons. I even named my iPod Smaug!!
Ok I'm going off topic here, but I do recommend this book and I did enjoy reading it. I just had very high expectations because I'm a fan!

Paul's coming back from India!!

He's been gone a looooooooong time, but he's finally coming home. Well, not that I'll really see him more often anyway :p.
But I'm pretty excited to hear all about his trip. Not so sure when I will, but eventually.

This month of August is going to be super-busy for everybody I know. Including myself. I'm going to be going "non-stop" until the end of September at least.

Vacations, administration, driving, back to college (moving again- even though at least I know where I'm staying this year!), and then a conference, and all my classes and activities... Without counting perhaps even moving into a new room at home (and working on it in the meantime, but that's not really my job!) I'm going to be pretty busy. On top of it I need to ready my bonzaï for it's transition from summer to fall. Every year I have a hard time getting it to accept less light, less sun...

got a new ipod :)

I've had it for a few days now, which explains my internet silence lol... I've been busy playing with my new "toy". Watching Lost, Desperate Housewives... And finding a name for it. I was looking for a LOTR name for it, but most of the names I liked were already taken ;). I finally decided on Smaug (the name of the dragon- I like dragons even though they're pretty evil in the books). Unless someone else had a better idea.
It's a white 30Go iPod. It's so thin and the screen is so wide and nice and classy!
I also got theAgent18 case, it's VERY nice, I think it's one of the best cases I've seen out there :) I'd write a positive review for it on the website but that's hardly necessary because it already has so many positive reviews lol.
I also put my pictures on it.
My plan is to eventually free up my hard disk by deleting all my music off it and only keeping it on my iPod (if the worst comes to the worst, I have CDs of practically everything or a backup on my mom's mac or iPod).
I have yet to try and figure out how to put my own videos on it, I think it's probably not hard, but on the Apple site the only explanation is "buy Quicktime Pro!" - which isn't helpful. I don't want to buy it. I paid enough as it is for my computer and my iPod. There must be a free way to do it. I'll look into it this week when I'm done cleaning my room.

Otherwise I've been reading a lot but that's off topic.

iSubwayMaps

iSubwayMaps just found this site today, it's a great idea! I'm always annoyed at having to unfold a map! This way it's easy to just look things up on your ipod. Well, it's not as nice as a "real" map, because you need to have some idea where you're going because they are only png files, you can't like search for a specific adress like on mappy.fr or other useful websites. But I like it anyway!
I can't use it for Rennes yet but I guess that now that I have the idea I'll make the map myself :)

What do I do while waiting for God to answer my prayer?

Someone obviously stumbled on my blog looking for an answer to that question (my stats say that was entered in google). I hope my blog helped.
But I do think that's an interesting question I havn't directly adressed yet, so I'll try and answer it from my experience and from the Bible.

1. Keep praying. I guess that makes sense. And it's biblical too, I just don't want to look up any passages right now, but I can think of at least 2 passages that back this up.

2. Do what you can- without necessarily taking things into your own hands. Two extremes to avoid here: it's a bad idea to sleep with the maid to get a son if your wife is barren. But it's also a bad idea to be praying for deliverance on a rooftop after a flood and not at least try and make signals at the boats passing by or shout out.

3. Keep your options open. This is especially true if you're seeking God's will and depending on the outcome you might need to have some administrative things done already. For example I would encourage applying to many colleges and not just one or two if you're not sure.

4. Do your duty or at least something useful.

5. An obvious one: keep your ears and mind open. He may already have answered. And be ready to hear a "no" or a "not yet".

That's what I can think of for now.

Not myself at all...

I'm going on vacation again.
Again in a place without hotspots and probably not internet cafés. Not that I'd have time for internet unless I had wi-fi access in my room at night, the only time of the day I could possibly imagine having time for my ibook.
As for Yann showing me stuff, I figure he can do that on his ibook lol....
It'll be more use to my sister. *sigh*
I'll just travel light this time. I just need to remember to bring along something I can wear to sea. That doens't come naturally to me, as I only think of packing pretty dresses most of the time. Perhaps if I publish it on my blog I'll remember?
Yes, I'm actually going to willingly go out in a boat!
I'll tell you more about it when I get back. I get terribly sea-sick most of the time. And I'm claustrophobic. And I feel stuck unless I see land at all times. So I'm hoping we won't get too far off from the coast. I don't like the idea of not being able to "get off" if I need to. One reason I've never liked airplanes, or bunkers, or even elevators. I like having a feeling of control.

So, to sum it all up, I'm willingly going to leave my ibook for a week, travel without all my clothes and shoes, and go out to sea. Not myself at all!

George Bush singing Sunday Bloody Sunday

I found this on the web and was amazed. Someone actually took the time to put this together, it really looks like he's singing!!

In my life

Every year around my birthday I begin reflecting on my life, on where I've been, on where I'm going, and it really makes you think... I guess the lyrics to this song correspond to my mood right now.

In My Life lyrics

i missed my bus...

Which means I had to wait 5 hours before the next train.
At first I wasn't too happy. But in the end it turned out all right. I figured that God must have had some purpose for that. Perhaps I would meet someone to talk to, someone who would be open to find out more about God. And indeed He did.
I spent about an hour in the new library in Rennes, it's beautiful and it totally motivated me for next year, I'll get a card there and read often. Much more than this year.
Then I spent some quiet hours just walking about in the warm evening in town, it's so peaceful.
Then I went to read at McDonald's and ate a menu. I had brought along Whence Came a Prince. Those books are really painful. I guess some people I won't name can't understand how I can identify with a character in a book, but I do. And I genuinely feel for Leana. I cried so hard in the second book when she had to bear seeing her sister marry her husband and become the "official" mother of her baby, Ian, and to top it off bear the shame of three Sundays on the repentance stool...
I'm so inspired by how she rests in God and how he helps her pull through. Although she lost all she had, He will never leave her and she clings to that promise. I've been there. Not in the same way, obviously. But I've been there.
Then I walked over to the train station, listening to Hillsong on my iPod. The Stand. I think that's my all-time favorite song by Hillsong. At some point I just kept singing it while waiting for my train, there was nobody standing there except for me so I could really sing out loud.
Sometimes I move so fast and do so much that I don't take time to really think and pray, and just digest all that's going on in my life and where I'm going.
And then on the train I met a man. My phone's battery was dead so I asked him if I could make a call. But his was also dead. By the time he told me so, I realized he didn't really speak much french. So I started talking to him in english, apparantly he's living here to see his daughter and is rather lonely because he doesn't know much french. So I invited him to the english church services, drew him a little map when he seemed interested. I think he will come. He's interested in spirituality, an odd mix of budhism and islam and a drop of christianity.
All this to say that sometimes it's worth the wait. I realize this is a fairly long post, but it's also a follow-up to a short thought on the 1st chapter of Acts. Do read it :)

Waiting, anticipating...

Too much? Here is a link to a previous post on the same theme.


Acts chapter 1
4On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. 5For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."
6So when they met together, they asked him, "Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?"

7He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.
8But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."


Here is a thought I had tonight as I was reading this short passage (ODDS really motivated me to read the book of Acts again for myself, especially since lately I was at a point where I didn't know what to read anymore, I would start one book, and then another, and had a hard time commiting to reading any book at all- ANYWAY as I was saying-).
I'm often like the disciples.
I'll hear good news from God, a glimpse of His plan, and I'll want to get ahead and anticipate all I know must happen one day, telling him: "hey, that would be the perfect occasion to bring this other event about"- as if I were his secretary with my little iCal, wanting to fill in all the calendar spaces myself.
In a sense it's good to be enthusiastic. But I guess one question that God rarely answers is "When?". I'm raking my mind right now, but I don't recall him ever answering that question before it was absolutely necessary. I think every christian since the beginning has believed/hoped that the second return was imminent on a human lifetime scale. Yet here we are in 2006 and generations of christians have come and gone, all of them seeing "the signs".
How does Jesus answer? It is not for you to know (...) you will be my witnesses (...) . They must not try and figure out the answer to that question immediately but instead focus on the present mission.
Often when I read stories of christians being persecuted, sometimes staying for years in prison, God is always there to comfort them and be with them despite the hard times, but they don't get a glimpse of the end until it is practically there.

So I need to stop asking When? and live my life in the here and now.
I had an interesing experience this evening, my next post will be about that.

singing puppets

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Last night's concert

It was amazing!!!
There was a huge thunderstorm outside and between that and the clapping and singing and jumping upside down (edit: up and down- I'm really tiered obviously!!!), the atmosphere in the concert room was absolutely electric. One of the best Gospel concerts I've been to...
There were hundreds of people (well, about 200 I think) and 3 encores...
A great way to end those two weeks, and on top of it we finally have cool weather. For two weeks we could barely breathe because of the heat.
As you can see if you click on the link in the sidebar, ODDS was also very fun. Our mimes/drama group had a blast.

Here is a video of Joshua.



I think my favorite song in the choir this year was o broken lamb. It's such a powerful song after Via Dolorosa, and I loved Stephanie's solo, she did a great job.
So did my sister, on her solo for Amazing Grace. You can listen to it in the little video.

I'm back!!!

Let's see... I'm back, I'll post more about my trip later. When I'm less tired.
Other than that, I am now 19.
And I am accepted into the school I wanted next year.

Well I must go to sleep!!!

Thorn in my heart (1)- Rowena

I will gradually anwser all the questions in the discussion guide, or at least the ones I find interesting.

Rowena McKie. She is a sort of "mother hen", very controlling. It seems to me that in the beginning of the book, it said that she gradually, over the years, learned to love her husband, Alec, who was nearly 20 years older than her and who she had never met before getting married, but that respect for him came harder. Her controlling nature makes her like her brother, except she isn't really after money, as he is. She truely believes she is responsible for bringing about God's will, even if it means pushing her son to deceive her husband and rob his brother of the "blessing". She doesn't demonstrate any respect for him and only wants to manipulate.

She might have loved her other son, Evan, if her husband didn't favor him so much. The way each of them is rooting for one son shows that she is almost looking for strife in their relationship, although I think she is also trying to be fair to her youngest twin, who doesn't receive any love from Alec. Also, she believes in the prophety that the midwife told her: "the older shall serve the younger", believes it is from God, and she is a rather superstitious/religious woman. The mix is somewhat interesting. I liked Leana because she saw the superstitions for what they were, and her trust was more in God. She seemed to be the only character lucid enough to pick that up.

Another reason she justifies her ill treatment of Evan is his wife. If she had her way, he never would have married her. I'm wondering to what degree it's nationalism and to what degree the woman was really disagreeable.

Well, this first post was mainly filled with thoughts about Rowena, Jamie's mother (Rebecca, Jacob's mother, for those who havn't read the books). Each post will be centered around a certain theme for lisibility.

Some people have TONS of macs

Poll Results - How many Macs do you have? -

I came across these poll results and was floored. 12% of respondants (that is, 206 people) said they had between 6 and 10 macs.
One person added a comment and said he had 26 AT HOME!!! For kicks. That's so cool lol.

vacation -gasp- without my ibook!

Yann says I'm crazy not to bring it. He may be right. I just don't think I'll really have time to use it and it is one more thing to carry around... Ugh perhaps I should. There might be hotspots. And I won't be able to upload my pictures from internet cafés without the specific camera software (internet cafés always have PCs!). Not that they'd allow me to. Even though I'd erase them from their hard drive immediately.
So I'm not taking it. Or am I? I need to think about it.

This also means for the next couple of weeks, I won't be posting as often, but I will go to internet cafés, mostly to catch up on my e-mails, but count on having a few posts on here, too.

I don't like internet cafés. I don't like having my time online limited. I don't like having to pay for it, either. I don't like not having all my software to use, all my files to consult, all my music to listen to as I surf, all my settings, such as my wallpaper, adium skin, or even my hard drive icon, or my dock. I guess I could always put my files on my .mac trial account before leaving, but it still isn't the same, you know? I don't like having to use a PC. I don't like thinking that my privacy isn't absolute. Not that I have any huge secrets or anything to hide, I just like privacy.
But I am crazy about hotspots. I wish there were more. I wish I knew if there were some where I was going. There doesn't seem to be any Subway restaurants in that city, so I guess not. :( And many hotspots here are stinker hotspots: you need to pay per hour. Expensive, too. Only Subway and the University offer a free wifi connection.

christmas songs in july

It's irresistable. Every year the same. in July, I get an irresistible urge to listen to, sing to, christmas music. Having a mac has not made things easier for me because I just shuffle all my music. Before I used CDs. Now they're all on my computer, and nicely mixed so I can't escape the bizarre tradition.
So, you see, this post, about waiting for christmas wasn't purely metaphorical.

driving and faith

I've learned a lot about my faith, about trusting God, by learning how to drive.
Christians are in driving school. We have the steering wheel, and the pedals, and all the commands, and the instructer leaves us freedom to operate them. More and more so as we learn. We need not fear, we may make some damage to the car, but our lives are at no time in any danger because he is there and can take full commands if the situation requires it.
So we don't need to live in fear- and that's important, because fear of failure changes how we drive, as well as how we live. We will fix our eyes upon the obstactle, and instead of avoiding it, run right into it.
When we make mistakes, if we can't get over the guilty feelings, the rest of the driving lesson will be stressful and we won't really get anywhere.
The fear of failure is a lie we tell ourselves, the devil tells us. And it works. We fail. Again and again. Rémi told me of a student who was good. But he made a mistake on the day of his exam, and from then on lost all confidence in himself, and messed up not twice, not thrice, but 4 times before getting his licence on his 5th time. When he was good enough driver to have nearly succeeded on his first try!
The driving instructor is always there and won't let his student's down. God is the same.

Thank you Rémi, for teaching me that.

a change in my heart

Sometimes, my heart feels so full that I feel like everything matters. I feel cheerful. I see signs everywhere. I am glad.
Oddly, this change was partially brought about by reading a book re-telling a story that has always angered me deeply.
I've always been outraged by the story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah. Always.
Which explains my curiosity to read the books by Liz Curtis Higgs. Perhaps out of a desire to understand how such a story is possible.
Bizarrely, it had inspired me and taught me so much. And I recognize myself. Not that my sister and I are fighting over the same man- or the other way around, for that matter. Just the characters are so believable. And human.
The story inspired my latest post, in a sense, as it's pretty much an edited copy of a prayer I typed out earlier on. (yes, I type some of my prayers, it helps me keep my thoughts clear, and then I can use spotlight to find prayers months later.)

Oddly, I had never really thought about the parallels between Jacob's deception of his father and Leah's deception of Jacob (although I remain convinced the poor girl thought she was truely married to the man, or simply had no choice or say in the matter). I guess I was so busy fuming about how a man could only realize the difference between a woman and her sister in the morning, to think about it really. The book blames it (partly) on whiskey and the fact that in the dark, they ARE sisters, so they do have similarities. I guess that's what I'd figured, except I had always pictured wine, not whiskey, a tent and not a room.

Reading these books is interesting. Not like reading just any fiction novel (it IS fiction BTW). Because I know the outcome, just not how the characters get to that. I've just begun Fair is the Rose and I know Rose (Rachel) must get pregnant by the end, but I'm dreading that moment with all of my heart, and I just can't see how it's possible. I'm really rooting for Leana. (Leah). I feel like I am her in a sense. The older, more sensible, more plain sister. I know what it's like to love and not be loved in return, the pain. And honestly, I think, that in her position, (I'm going to get burned at the stake for this) I would have probably done exactly as she did.

What touches me is that God's grace and mercy and willingness to simply love, despite all the mistakes, stupid things the characters have done, and bless them, and never leave them, is overwhelming. What amazes me even more is that I've noticed the same in my own life. He is faithful to his promise, and blesses us even when we definately don't deserve it. He has blessed me, he simply loves me despite all the stupid things I've done. I can't resist quoting that song by Pillar. I love it so much.
I'll end here because if my posts are too long, the sad truth is that nobody reads them.

packing

always a stressful moment in summer, packing for two weeks!! But sort of fun, in a way. You get to decide what to wear, need to prepare for any situation. Make lists.
For instance, I forgot to add socks to my list, so I will.
Sadly, I'll be leaving My Precious home. I'm guess I'll just turn it off :(
it's hard to pack, let alone do any other work, when I'm reading books I've been waiting to receive in weeks.
I promise to write about the books some more when I've finshed them. There's a reader's guide in the end of the book, and so what I'll do is try to type out my personal answers. With a bit of luck, and some googling, I should be able to find people online who either have done the same, or would do so, to share this reading experience. I wish all good books came with a reading discussion guide! If the idea catches on enough, I could start a new dedicated blog.
For people reading me now, I'm speaking of the series by Liz Curtis Higgs, beginning with Thorn in my heart. For now, I have bearly been able to put it down, and only to sleep!!!

waiting is biblical!

Ok, I can hear your resounding "duh"s coming at me right now. But I'm talking about waiting in general. Which, by the way, is the main theme of my blog, although every now and then I'll drop in a Calvin and Hobbes quote or my sister will show a hamster...
Anyway, even if something is God's will, or, better yet, a promise, sometimes, often actually, we have to wait for it anyway even though every bone in our body is saying "I want it to happen now". I'm sure David wondered WHEN he would finally be made king instead of having to run for his life. I'm sure Abraham was fretting as he and his wife aged, still without a child, for years on end, although God had made a promise. I'm sure Joseph was wondering why God had put him in a prison cell for years despite his innocence and a vision of greatness.
Moses really had a heart for delivering his people, and was so passionnate about it that it led him to murder. But he had to wait years (40 if I'm correct) between the time of his exile and the time he led the people out of Egypt, and another 40 until the promised land, which he never did enter, BTW.
My reasoning has often been false: "if God truely wants this for me, I'll get it at the soonest, most logical-sounding time".
Sometimes our logical, good, plans, fall to pieces and we don't understand why.

I think God doesn't care so much about the end results as he does about the path we took to get there and what we've learned, how we've grown more like Him in the process.

I was convinced I needed to go to sciences po. I tried the entry exam and failed it. But I think that I learned a lot through that experience, and now I'm beginning to see the greater picture.
There are other episodes of my life I could cite, but they are either too personnal or too dull or too recent for me to yet tell you of the big picture.

a screenshot of my desktop

calvin and Hobbes quote

If ignorance is bliss, this lesson would appear to be a deliberate attempt to deprive me of happiness, the pursuit of which is my unalienable right according to the Declaration of Independence. I therefore assert my patriotic prerogative to not know this material. I'll be out in the playground.-Calvin

today

it's raining and there's a real thunderstorm. There's hail, too.

tonight there's the big game.

I drove this morning. 2 hours and now I think I'm finally ready to pass my exam. I'll know the date by the end of July.

3 ways to wait

There are 3 ways to wait. One is useful, one is neutral, and one can turn out to be a real catastrophy.

To illustrate this, I'll use the example of the bus. I have several hours of bus every week (sometimes every day!).

I can read textbooks or make important phone calls or talk to people and make new friends or devellop friendships. I can use that time to put my contacts in, or to type a report... to do something useful!

OR I can watch a divX on my computer, or I can do a couple Sudoku puzzles, or just listen to music, or sleep...

OR I can sit there, fret, say "are we there yet?" every 5 minutes and drive everyone crazy, including myself.

conclusion: always carry work of some sort along with me. I'll save time and frustration by diminishing actual waiting time.

purity rings

I stumbled accross this site as I was doing a google search to see if my blog showed up anywhere for "Waiting". lol


Abstinence-only accessorizing: purity rings for wholesome teens


I knew it was more and more popular in the States, but I had no clue how widespread it was.
I personnally have a bracelet which my uncle gave me, which symbolizes purity as a whole, that is drugs, alcool, language, personnal integrity (like not cheating on tests). I think it makes more sense, and it's a really pretty bracelet, too.

In a 2001 study published in the American Journal of Sociology, Peter Bearman, a professor of sociology at Columbia University, found that only 12 percent of the more than 2.5 million adolescents who had made a virginity pledge by 1995 remained abstinent until marriage. Abstinence pledges do delay sex for an average of 18 months, Bearman found, but those who break their pledges are a third less likely to use protection.

I thought these stats were interesting although saddening.

What's worse than being impatient?

Being impatient and curious!! Some people are just impatient, others are only curious. Some people can wait fine for their birthdays but just have a hard time not wondering what they will receive. Others don't really care, they don't think too much about what the actual content could be, they're just impatient for the day to be there.
I'm both impatient and curious. A real racoon. :p (n'est-ce pas Oli?)

summer bus

Tomorrow summer officially begins for the bus company I use to get to the city every day I have driving lessons. Which means there are less buses. Tis similar in the morning, but I fear that I'll be often "stuck" in the afternoon unless I take the train (3x more expensive, yet hardly any s'miles points). So I'll have to wait. Thankfully my best friend is in town tomorrow, so I can always meet up with her. Waiting is always easier with a friend.

s'miles

Does anybody actually use that card? Seriously, it's impossible to get 1500 points just by buying train tickets. That would mean spending that much money (1500 euros) just to get a free ticket. That's stupid. Nobody spends that much money!!! I sure don't anyway. Thankfully there are the promotions. Like just by signing up to their e-mail newsletter I get 600 points. Sounds like spam to me, but I guess that's the only possible way I'll ever get a free train ticket and I am a real uncle scrooge. I already have 500 points (400 for filling out a questionnaire on their services to say if I liked them or not) and 100 for buying groceries in Geant. Not one point for buying train tickets, because every time I'm too much in a hurry to actually bother to enter my code. The SNCF is nice, but too expensive. Much too expensive.

If ever I get that nice promotion, seriously, I'm crossing France. I'm going to make them regret giving me a free ticket!! *evil grin* I'm waiting for that day with impatience...

backseat driving :p

Today I drove two hours, but I also had "écoute pédagogique", where I can just sit in the backseat and watch someone else drive, make mistakes, be corrected by the teacher, and learn whatever that person is learning. Obviously you learn less that way than by actually driving yourself, but I really think it was helpful. Because now I have a different perspective on my driving. I also got lucky: this girl's lesson was the one where she was learning about the different parts of the car, like where all the different liquids are, how to check for problems. Which means I'll "lose" less time on all that with my own lessons. Might seem like a minor gain but when you're paying 30 euros per hour (standard price in France!!), it's definately worth it.
I also realized something. I'm not that bad at orientation, I just remember bus routes better. And with my own teacher we never follow similar routes to the bus ones. So obviously I don't know where we are.
And I was actually able to bring the car back to the school and park by myself this time :D
I'm getting better at parking, I think I've got the hang of it. My teacher told me to write it down and study my method because I'm not going to be driving for weeks because of my vacation. So I guess I'll do that.
Maybe I should write down absolutely everything I know to review it. Can always help. I'll look for a notebook tonight. I can't wait to have my licence!!!

I got new shoes today :D
I'm tickled pink: I LOVE new shoes. And these ones are very different from the rest of my shoes. They are classy sandals I can actually drive with. I can also walk in them. They are a pretty white leather (not black, as usual), and have no heels, which is nice for walking. I'm sort of short but I guess it doesn't matter. Not really. Very comfortable :D

if the bus is late again...

... I think I'll SCREAM!!!!! I'm so SICK and TIERED of that bus being late. It was fairly on time all year, but it's been 30 minutes late twice in a row. Tomorrow it doesn't matter quite as much since my driving lesson is at noon and not at 11, but STILL. I hate waiting especially with the knowledge that I could be in bed at the moment.

planning the future

Tomorrow I'm driving again (2 hours). I've been working on manoeuvering, so far it's kind of hard, so I've practiced on my parent's old car in the driveway, and I think I'm gettting the hang of it. It requires a lot of hard work but I think I can eventually do it.
I really want to get my licence on my first attempt.
It's kind of stressing me out to not know a date for the exam. I'm the type of person that likes to plan everything, if possible, years in advance. So not being able to print out a definate calendar for the month of July and August, that I will have hardly any changes to make to it, just BOTHERS me.
And I still don't know where to put all my stuff. Especially my books. I'm pretty sure I can cram the clothes in my closet somehow, and people don't really care how many guitars are laying about the room, but I just don't know WHAT to do with all my books. We're supposed to have guests this summer!
And also I don't know which trips I can go on. There are only 2 non-negociable events in my whole summer and the rest just depend on the date of my driver's licence and when I can get lessons and where I will stay...

I really should be more serene about this, but it's hard to not know.

You know, I don't even really know for sure yet if I'm taken into the school I want next year. I've done my application, but results don't come in until July 20th. I'm changing majors, and therefore colleges, which means my application needs to be accepted or I'll have to start from year 1. Which would be sad and I have no intention of doing that.

I don't have a job, either. But how can I get a job with a summer punctuated with incertitude til the very end?

And then a whole bunch of details stress me out. Not forgetting my bus ticket. Not forgetting my booklet. Charging my phone. Changing the strings on my guitar.

I really need to be less of a control freak. Trying to plan every detail of my future can only bring frustration and dissappointement. Because things rarely turn out how I've planned. Very rarely.

commented stats...

It's interesting. For the first time since I've started my blog, Windows users outnumber Mac OS users. Which means my audience has finally gone beyond just a few friends I sent a link to :p
56% use Windows (2% Windows 2000).
What surprises me is that 6% have disabled Javascript. Which means they can't leave me comments :(. That's sad. Perhaps I should restore the default settings (although I have so many windows open as is it, I hate having to have another window open just to read my comments).
My visitors are more and more international, as well. That's kind of fun to see where everyone is from. But my main audience is still from France and Belgium, which is strange because I purposely decided to write in English.

It's so hot today that I feel half-dead. Melted. Unable to do anything. I'm a weird person, and would take a trip to Iceland over a trip to South Africa any day. I'd love to visit the North of Canada, see the northern lights...
Sometime I should write about my dreams.

Who would have guessed? France- Brazil 1-0

Well, apparantly my sister believed in it. Yann says he did too. I didn't watch the game, but I'm happy anyway. I guess I'll watch the final, maybe even the next game. I'll see.
Anyway France 1 - 0 Brazil !!!!!!!!!!!!!

People have been honking and screaming in the street for hours now lol it's kind of fun.
i'm not really into soccer but I like the festive aspect of the games.

Moved out for the summer

It always feels somewhat weird to pack up your stuff and leave. Stuff that USED to fit in your room at home, for some reason, just doesn't anymore after a year in college.
And I left some things, like my desk chair and printer... and posters.
I have so many books. It didn't FEEL like I actually bought that many, but I guess I must have because there's NO WAY they will ever fit on my bookshelf!
Surprisingly, my notes from classes and textbooks don't actually take up that much space. I guess if I printed out all I typed, though, it would take up more space. I'm keeping all that. Usually I just throw out most of my classes at the end of the year, but college is different.
It's nice to have my guitar at home. Next year I think I'll just bring my classical one to college, since I actually have more time to play on week-ends. It's too much a bother to lug it around so wherever I take it, it stays! LOL