iSubwayMaps just found this site today, it's a great idea! I'm always annoyed at having to unfold a map! This way it's easy to just look things up on your ipod. Well, it's not as nice as a "real" map, because you need to have some idea where you're going because they are only png files, you can't like search for a specific adress like on mappy.fr or other useful websites. But I like it anyway!
I can't use it for Rennes yet but I guess that now that I have the idea I'll make the map myself :)
Friday, July 28, 2006
What do I do while waiting for God to answer my prayer?
Someone obviously stumbled on my blog looking for an answer to that question (my stats say that was entered in google). I hope my blog helped.
But I do think that's an interesting question I havn't directly adressed yet, so I'll try and answer it from my experience and from the Bible.
1. Keep praying. I guess that makes sense. And it's biblical too, I just don't want to look up any passages right now, but I can think of at least 2 passages that back this up.
2. Do what you can- without necessarily taking things into your own hands. Two extremes to avoid here: it's a bad idea to sleep with the maid to get a son if your wife is barren. But it's also a bad idea to be praying for deliverance on a rooftop after a flood and not at least try and make signals at the boats passing by or shout out.
3. Keep your options open. This is especially true if you're seeking God's will and depending on the outcome you might need to have some administrative things done already. For example I would encourage applying to many colleges and not just one or two if you're not sure.
4. Do your duty or at least something useful.
5. An obvious one: keep your ears and mind open. He may already have answered. And be ready to hear a "no" or a "not yet".
That's what I can think of for now.
But I do think that's an interesting question I havn't directly adressed yet, so I'll try and answer it from my experience and from the Bible.
1. Keep praying. I guess that makes sense. And it's biblical too, I just don't want to look up any passages right now, but I can think of at least 2 passages that back this up.
2. Do what you can- without necessarily taking things into your own hands. Two extremes to avoid here: it's a bad idea to sleep with the maid to get a son if your wife is barren. But it's also a bad idea to be praying for deliverance on a rooftop after a flood and not at least try and make signals at the boats passing by or shout out.
3. Keep your options open. This is especially true if you're seeking God's will and depending on the outcome you might need to have some administrative things done already. For example I would encourage applying to many colleges and not just one or two if you're not sure.
4. Do your duty or at least something useful.
5. An obvious one: keep your ears and mind open. He may already have answered. And be ready to hear a "no" or a "not yet".
That's what I can think of for now.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Not myself at all...
I'm going on vacation again.
Again in a place without hotspots and probably not internet cafés. Not that I'd have time for internet unless I had wi-fi access in my room at night, the only time of the day I could possibly imagine having time for my ibook.
As for Yann showing me stuff, I figure he can do that on his ibook lol....
It'll be more use to my sister. *sigh*
I'll just travel light this time. I just need to remember to bring along something I can wear to sea. That doens't come naturally to me, as I only think of packing pretty dresses most of the time. Perhaps if I publish it on my blog I'll remember?
Yes, I'm actually going to willingly go out in a boat!
I'll tell you more about it when I get back. I get terribly sea-sick most of the time. And I'm claustrophobic. And I feel stuck unless I see land at all times. So I'm hoping we won't get too far off from the coast. I don't like the idea of not being able to "get off" if I need to. One reason I've never liked airplanes, or bunkers, or even elevators. I like having a feeling of control.
So, to sum it all up, I'm willingly going to leave my ibook for a week, travel without all my clothes and shoes, and go out to sea. Not myself at all!
Again in a place without hotspots and probably not internet cafés. Not that I'd have time for internet unless I had wi-fi access in my room at night, the only time of the day I could possibly imagine having time for my ibook.
As for Yann showing me stuff, I figure he can do that on his ibook lol....
It'll be more use to my sister. *sigh*
I'll just travel light this time. I just need to remember to bring along something I can wear to sea. That doens't come naturally to me, as I only think of packing pretty dresses most of the time. Perhaps if I publish it on my blog I'll remember?
Yes, I'm actually going to willingly go out in a boat!
I'll tell you more about it when I get back. I get terribly sea-sick most of the time. And I'm claustrophobic. And I feel stuck unless I see land at all times. So I'm hoping we won't get too far off from the coast. I don't like the idea of not being able to "get off" if I need to. One reason I've never liked airplanes, or bunkers, or even elevators. I like having a feeling of control.
So, to sum it all up, I'm willingly going to leave my ibook for a week, travel without all my clothes and shoes, and go out to sea. Not myself at all!
Sunday, July 23, 2006
George Bush singing Sunday Bloody Sunday
I found this on the web and was amazed. Someone actually took the time to put this together, it really looks like he's singing!!
In my life
Every year around my birthday I begin reflecting on my life, on where I've been, on where I'm going, and it really makes you think... I guess the lyrics to this song correspond to my mood right now.
In My Life lyrics
In My Life lyrics
i missed my bus...
Which means I had to wait 5 hours before the next train.
At first I wasn't too happy. But in the end it turned out all right. I figured that God must have had some purpose for that. Perhaps I would meet someone to talk to, someone who would be open to find out more about God. And indeed He did.
I spent about an hour in the new library in Rennes, it's beautiful and it totally motivated me for next year, I'll get a card there and read often. Much more than this year.
Then I spent some quiet hours just walking about in the warm evening in town, it's so peaceful.
Then I went to read at McDonald's and ate a menu. I had brought along Whence Came a Prince. Those books are really painful. I guess some people I won't name can't understand how I can identify with a character in a book, but I do. And I genuinely feel for Leana. I cried so hard in the second book when she had to bear seeing her sister marry her husband and become the "official" mother of her baby, Ian, and to top it off bear the shame of three Sundays on the repentance stool...
I'm so inspired by how she rests in God and how he helps her pull through. Although she lost all she had, He will never leave her and she clings to that promise. I've been there. Not in the same way, obviously. But I've been there.
Then I walked over to the train station, listening to Hillsong on my iPod. The Stand. I think that's my all-time favorite song by Hillsong. At some point I just kept singing it while waiting for my train, there was nobody standing there except for me so I could really sing out loud.
Sometimes I move so fast and do so much that I don't take time to really think and pray, and just digest all that's going on in my life and where I'm going.
And then on the train I met a man. My phone's battery was dead so I asked him if I could make a call. But his was also dead. By the time he told me so, I realized he didn't really speak much french. So I started talking to him in english, apparantly he's living here to see his daughter and is rather lonely because he doesn't know much french. So I invited him to the english church services, drew him a little map when he seemed interested. I think he will come. He's interested in spirituality, an odd mix of budhism and islam and a drop of christianity.
All this to say that sometimes it's worth the wait. I realize this is a fairly long post, but it's also a follow-up to a short thought on the 1st chapter of Acts. Do read it :)
At first I wasn't too happy. But in the end it turned out all right. I figured that God must have had some purpose for that. Perhaps I would meet someone to talk to, someone who would be open to find out more about God. And indeed He did.
I spent about an hour in the new library in Rennes, it's beautiful and it totally motivated me for next year, I'll get a card there and read often. Much more than this year.
Then I spent some quiet hours just walking about in the warm evening in town, it's so peaceful.
Then I went to read at McDonald's and ate a menu. I had brought along Whence Came a Prince. Those books are really painful. I guess some people I won't name can't understand how I can identify with a character in a book, but I do. And I genuinely feel for Leana. I cried so hard in the second book when she had to bear seeing her sister marry her husband and become the "official" mother of her baby, Ian, and to top it off bear the shame of three Sundays on the repentance stool...
I'm so inspired by how she rests in God and how he helps her pull through. Although she lost all she had, He will never leave her and she clings to that promise. I've been there. Not in the same way, obviously. But I've been there.
Then I walked over to the train station, listening to Hillsong on my iPod. The Stand. I think that's my all-time favorite song by Hillsong. At some point I just kept singing it while waiting for my train, there was nobody standing there except for me so I could really sing out loud.
Sometimes I move so fast and do so much that I don't take time to really think and pray, and just digest all that's going on in my life and where I'm going.
And then on the train I met a man. My phone's battery was dead so I asked him if I could make a call. But his was also dead. By the time he told me so, I realized he didn't really speak much french. So I started talking to him in english, apparantly he's living here to see his daughter and is rather lonely because he doesn't know much french. So I invited him to the english church services, drew him a little map when he seemed interested. I think he will come. He's interested in spirituality, an odd mix of budhism and islam and a drop of christianity.
All this to say that sometimes it's worth the wait. I realize this is a fairly long post, but it's also a follow-up to a short thought on the 1st chapter of Acts. Do read it :)
Waiting, anticipating...
Too much? Here is a link to a previous post on the same theme.
Acts chapter 1
4On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. 5For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."
6So when they met together, they asked him, "Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?"
7He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.
8But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
Here is a thought I had tonight as I was reading this short passage (ODDS really motivated me to read the book of Acts again for myself, especially since lately I was at a point where I didn't know what to read anymore, I would start one book, and then another, and had a hard time commiting to reading any book at all- ANYWAY as I was saying-).
I'm often like the disciples.
I'll hear good news from God, a glimpse of His plan, and I'll want to get ahead and anticipate all I know must happen one day, telling him: "hey, that would be the perfect occasion to bring this other event about"- as if I were his secretary with my little iCal, wanting to fill in all the calendar spaces myself.
In a sense it's good to be enthusiastic. But I guess one question that God rarely answers is "When?". I'm raking my mind right now, but I don't recall him ever answering that question before it was absolutely necessary. I think every christian since the beginning has believed/hoped that the second return was imminent on a human lifetime scale. Yet here we are in 2006 and generations of christians have come and gone, all of them seeing "the signs".
How does Jesus answer? It is not for you to know (...) you will be my witnesses (...) . They must not try and figure out the answer to that question immediately but instead focus on the present mission.
Often when I read stories of christians being persecuted, sometimes staying for years in prison, God is always there to comfort them and be with them despite the hard times, but they don't get a glimpse of the end until it is practically there.
So I need to stop asking When? and live my life in the here and now.
I had an interesing experience this evening, my next post will be about that.
Acts chapter 1
4On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. 5For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."
6So when they met together, they asked him, "Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?"
7He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.
8But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
Here is a thought I had tonight as I was reading this short passage (ODDS really motivated me to read the book of Acts again for myself, especially since lately I was at a point where I didn't know what to read anymore, I would start one book, and then another, and had a hard time commiting to reading any book at all- ANYWAY as I was saying-).
I'm often like the disciples.
I'll hear good news from God, a glimpse of His plan, and I'll want to get ahead and anticipate all I know must happen one day, telling him: "hey, that would be the perfect occasion to bring this other event about"- as if I were his secretary with my little iCal, wanting to fill in all the calendar spaces myself.
In a sense it's good to be enthusiastic. But I guess one question that God rarely answers is "When?". I'm raking my mind right now, but I don't recall him ever answering that question before it was absolutely necessary. I think every christian since the beginning has believed/hoped that the second return was imminent on a human lifetime scale. Yet here we are in 2006 and generations of christians have come and gone, all of them seeing "the signs".
How does Jesus answer? It is not for you to know (...) you will be my witnesses (...) . They must not try and figure out the answer to that question immediately but instead focus on the present mission.
Often when I read stories of christians being persecuted, sometimes staying for years in prison, God is always there to comfort them and be with them despite the hard times, but they don't get a glimpse of the end until it is practically there.
So I need to stop asking When? and live my life in the here and now.
I had an interesing experience this evening, my next post will be about that.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Last night's concert
It was amazing!!!
There was a huge thunderstorm outside and between that and the clapping and singing and jumping upside down (edit: up and down- I'm really tiered obviously!!!), the atmosphere in the concert room was absolutely electric. One of the best Gospel concerts I've been to...
There were hundreds of people (well, about 200 I think) and 3 encores...
A great way to end those two weeks, and on top of it we finally have cool weather. For two weeks we could barely breathe because of the heat.
As you can see if you click on the link in the sidebar, ODDS was also very fun. Our mimes/drama group had a blast.
Here is a video of Joshua.
I think my favorite song in the choir this year was o broken lamb. It's such a powerful song after Via Dolorosa, and I loved Stephanie's solo, she did a great job.
So did my sister, on her solo for Amazing Grace. You can listen to it in the little video.
There was a huge thunderstorm outside and between that and the clapping and singing and jumping upside down (edit: up and down- I'm really tiered obviously!!!), the atmosphere in the concert room was absolutely electric. One of the best Gospel concerts I've been to...
There were hundreds of people (well, about 200 I think) and 3 encores...
A great way to end those two weeks, and on top of it we finally have cool weather. For two weeks we could barely breathe because of the heat.
As you can see if you click on the link in the sidebar, ODDS was also very fun. Our mimes/drama group had a blast.
Here is a video of Joshua.
I think my favorite song in the choir this year was o broken lamb. It's such a powerful song after Via Dolorosa, and I loved Stephanie's solo, she did a great job.
So did my sister, on her solo for Amazing Grace. You can listen to it in the little video.
I'm back!!!
Let's see... I'm back, I'll post more about my trip later. When I'm less tired.
Other than that, I am now 19.
And I am accepted into the school I wanted next year.
Well I must go to sleep!!!
Other than that, I am now 19.
And I am accepted into the school I wanted next year.
Well I must go to sleep!!!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Thorn in my heart (1)- Rowena
I will gradually anwser all the questions in the discussion guide, or at least the ones I find interesting.
Rowena McKie. She is a sort of "mother hen", very controlling. It seems to me that in the beginning of the book, it said that she gradually, over the years, learned to love her husband, Alec, who was nearly 20 years older than her and who she had never met before getting married, but that respect for him came harder. Her controlling nature makes her like her brother, except she isn't really after money, as he is. She truely believes she is responsible for bringing about God's will, even if it means pushing her son to deceive her husband and rob his brother of the "blessing". She doesn't demonstrate any respect for him and only wants to manipulate.
She might have loved her other son, Evan, if her husband didn't favor him so much. The way each of them is rooting for one son shows that she is almost looking for strife in their relationship, although I think she is also trying to be fair to her youngest twin, who doesn't receive any love from Alec. Also, she believes in the prophety that the midwife told her: "the older shall serve the younger", believes it is from God, and she is a rather superstitious/religious woman. The mix is somewhat interesting. I liked Leana because she saw the superstitions for what they were, and her trust was more in God. She seemed to be the only character lucid enough to pick that up.
Another reason she justifies her ill treatment of Evan is his wife. If she had her way, he never would have married her. I'm wondering to what degree it's nationalism and to what degree the woman was really disagreeable.
Well, this first post was mainly filled with thoughts about Rowena, Jamie's mother (Rebecca, Jacob's mother, for those who havn't read the books). Each post will be centered around a certain theme for lisibility.
Rowena McKie. She is a sort of "mother hen", very controlling. It seems to me that in the beginning of the book, it said that she gradually, over the years, learned to love her husband, Alec, who was nearly 20 years older than her and who she had never met before getting married, but that respect for him came harder. Her controlling nature makes her like her brother, except she isn't really after money, as he is. She truely believes she is responsible for bringing about God's will, even if it means pushing her son to deceive her husband and rob his brother of the "blessing". She doesn't demonstrate any respect for him and only wants to manipulate.
She might have loved her other son, Evan, if her husband didn't favor him so much. The way each of them is rooting for one son shows that she is almost looking for strife in their relationship, although I think she is also trying to be fair to her youngest twin, who doesn't receive any love from Alec. Also, she believes in the prophety that the midwife told her: "the older shall serve the younger", believes it is from God, and she is a rather superstitious/religious woman. The mix is somewhat interesting. I liked Leana because she saw the superstitions for what they were, and her trust was more in God. She seemed to be the only character lucid enough to pick that up.
Another reason she justifies her ill treatment of Evan is his wife. If she had her way, he never would have married her. I'm wondering to what degree it's nationalism and to what degree the woman was really disagreeable.
Well, this first post was mainly filled with thoughts about Rowena, Jamie's mother (Rebecca, Jacob's mother, for those who havn't read the books). Each post will be centered around a certain theme for lisibility.
Some people have TONS of macs
Poll Results - How many Macs do you have? -
I came across these poll results and was floored. 12% of respondants (that is, 206 people) said they had between 6 and 10 macs.
One person added a comment and said he had 26 AT HOME!!! For kicks. That's so cool lol.
I came across these poll results and was floored. 12% of respondants (that is, 206 people) said they had between 6 and 10 macs.
One person added a comment and said he had 26 AT HOME!!! For kicks. That's so cool lol.
vacation -gasp- without my ibook!
Yann says I'm crazy not to bring it. He may be right. I just don't think I'll really have time to use it and it is one more thing to carry around... Ugh perhaps I should. There might be hotspots. And I won't be able to upload my pictures from internet cafés without the specific camera software (internet cafés always have PCs!). Not that they'd allow me to. Even though I'd erase them from their hard drive immediately.
So I'm not taking it. Or am I? I need to think about it.
This also means for the next couple of weeks, I won't be posting as often, but I will go to internet cafés, mostly to catch up on my e-mails, but count on having a few posts on here, too.
I don't like internet cafés. I don't like having my time online limited. I don't like having to pay for it, either. I don't like not having all my software to use, all my files to consult, all my music to listen to as I surf, all my settings, such as my wallpaper, adium skin, or even my hard drive icon, or my dock. I guess I could always put my files on my .mac trial account before leaving, but it still isn't the same, you know? I don't like having to use a PC. I don't like thinking that my privacy isn't absolute. Not that I have any huge secrets or anything to hide, I just like privacy.
But I am crazy about hotspots. I wish there were more. I wish I knew if there were some where I was going. There doesn't seem to be any Subway restaurants in that city, so I guess not. :( And many hotspots here are stinker hotspots: you need to pay per hour. Expensive, too. Only Subway and the University offer a free wifi connection.
So I'm not taking it. Or am I? I need to think about it.
This also means for the next couple of weeks, I won't be posting as often, but I will go to internet cafés, mostly to catch up on my e-mails, but count on having a few posts on here, too.
I don't like internet cafés. I don't like having my time online limited. I don't like having to pay for it, either. I don't like not having all my software to use, all my files to consult, all my music to listen to as I surf, all my settings, such as my wallpaper, adium skin, or even my hard drive icon, or my dock. I guess I could always put my files on my .mac trial account before leaving, but it still isn't the same, you know? I don't like having to use a PC. I don't like thinking that my privacy isn't absolute. Not that I have any huge secrets or anything to hide, I just like privacy.
But I am crazy about hotspots. I wish there were more. I wish I knew if there were some where I was going. There doesn't seem to be any Subway restaurants in that city, so I guess not. :( And many hotspots here are stinker hotspots: you need to pay per hour. Expensive, too. Only Subway and the University offer a free wifi connection.
Friday, July 07, 2006
christmas songs in july
It's irresistable. Every year the same. in July, I get an irresistible urge to listen to, sing to, christmas music. Having a mac has not made things easier for me because I just shuffle all my music. Before I used CDs. Now they're all on my computer, and nicely mixed so I can't escape the bizarre tradition.
So, you see, this post, about waiting for christmas wasn't purely metaphorical.
So, you see, this post, about waiting for christmas wasn't purely metaphorical.
driving and faith
I've learned a lot about my faith, about trusting God, by learning how to drive.
Christians are in driving school. We have the steering wheel, and the pedals, and all the commands, and the instructer leaves us freedom to operate them. More and more so as we learn. We need not fear, we may make some damage to the car, but our lives are at no time in any danger because he is there and can take full commands if the situation requires it.
So we don't need to live in fear- and that's important, because fear of failure changes how we drive, as well as how we live. We will fix our eyes upon the obstactle, and instead of avoiding it, run right into it.
When we make mistakes, if we can't get over the guilty feelings, the rest of the driving lesson will be stressful and we won't really get anywhere.
The fear of failure is a lie we tell ourselves, the devil tells us. And it works. We fail. Again and again. Rémi told me of a student who was good. But he made a mistake on the day of his exam, and from then on lost all confidence in himself, and messed up not twice, not thrice, but 4 times before getting his licence on his 5th time. When he was good enough driver to have nearly succeeded on his first try!
The driving instructor is always there and won't let his student's down. God is the same.
Thank you Rémi, for teaching me that.
Christians are in driving school. We have the steering wheel, and the pedals, and all the commands, and the instructer leaves us freedom to operate them. More and more so as we learn. We need not fear, we may make some damage to the car, but our lives are at no time in any danger because he is there and can take full commands if the situation requires it.
So we don't need to live in fear- and that's important, because fear of failure changes how we drive, as well as how we live. We will fix our eyes upon the obstactle, and instead of avoiding it, run right into it.
When we make mistakes, if we can't get over the guilty feelings, the rest of the driving lesson will be stressful and we won't really get anywhere.
The fear of failure is a lie we tell ourselves, the devil tells us. And it works. We fail. Again and again. Rémi told me of a student who was good. But he made a mistake on the day of his exam, and from then on lost all confidence in himself, and messed up not twice, not thrice, but 4 times before getting his licence on his 5th time. When he was good enough driver to have nearly succeeded on his first try!
The driving instructor is always there and won't let his student's down. God is the same.
Thank you Rémi, for teaching me that.
a change in my heart
Sometimes, my heart feels so full that I feel like everything matters. I feel cheerful. I see signs everywhere. I am glad.
Oddly, this change was partially brought about by reading a book re-telling a story that has always angered me deeply.
I've always been outraged by the story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah. Always.
Which explains my curiosity to read the books by Liz Curtis Higgs. Perhaps out of a desire to understand how such a story is possible.
Bizarrely, it had inspired me and taught me so much. And I recognize myself. Not that my sister and I are fighting over the same man- or the other way around, for that matter. Just the characters are so believable. And human.
The story inspired my latest post, in a sense, as it's pretty much an edited copy of a prayer I typed out earlier on. (yes, I type some of my prayers, it helps me keep my thoughts clear, and then I can use spotlight to find prayers months later.)
Oddly, I had never really thought about the parallels between Jacob's deception of his father and Leah's deception of Jacob (although I remain convinced the poor girl thought she was truely married to the man, or simply had no choice or say in the matter). I guess I was so busy fuming about how a man could only realize the difference between a woman and her sister in the morning, to think about it really. The book blames it (partly) on whiskey and the fact that in the dark, they ARE sisters, so they do have similarities. I guess that's what I'd figured, except I had always pictured wine, not whiskey, a tent and not a room.
Reading these books is interesting. Not like reading just any fiction novel (it IS fiction BTW). Because I know the outcome, just not how the characters get to that. I've just begun Fair is the Rose and I know Rose (Rachel) must get pregnant by the end, but I'm dreading that moment with all of my heart, and I just can't see how it's possible. I'm really rooting for Leana. (Leah). I feel like I am her in a sense. The older, more sensible, more plain sister. I know what it's like to love and not be loved in return, the pain. And honestly, I think, that in her position, (I'm going to get burned at the stake for this) I would have probably done exactly as she did.
What touches me is that God's grace and mercy and willingness to simply love, despite all the mistakes, stupid things the characters have done, and bless them, and never leave them, is overwhelming. What amazes me even more is that I've noticed the same in my own life. He is faithful to his promise, and blesses us even when we definately don't deserve it. He has blessed me, he simply loves me despite all the stupid things I've done. I can't resist quoting that song by Pillar. I love it so much.
I'll end here because if my posts are too long, the sad truth is that nobody reads them.
Oddly, this change was partially brought about by reading a book re-telling a story that has always angered me deeply.
I've always been outraged by the story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah. Always.
Which explains my curiosity to read the books by Liz Curtis Higgs. Perhaps out of a desire to understand how such a story is possible.
Bizarrely, it had inspired me and taught me so much. And I recognize myself. Not that my sister and I are fighting over the same man- or the other way around, for that matter. Just the characters are so believable. And human.
The story inspired my latest post, in a sense, as it's pretty much an edited copy of a prayer I typed out earlier on. (yes, I type some of my prayers, it helps me keep my thoughts clear, and then I can use spotlight to find prayers months later.)
Oddly, I had never really thought about the parallels between Jacob's deception of his father and Leah's deception of Jacob (although I remain convinced the poor girl thought she was truely married to the man, or simply had no choice or say in the matter). I guess I was so busy fuming about how a man could only realize the difference between a woman and her sister in the morning, to think about it really. The book blames it (partly) on whiskey and the fact that in the dark, they ARE sisters, so they do have similarities. I guess that's what I'd figured, except I had always pictured wine, not whiskey, a tent and not a room.
Reading these books is interesting. Not like reading just any fiction novel (it IS fiction BTW). Because I know the outcome, just not how the characters get to that. I've just begun Fair is the Rose and I know Rose (Rachel) must get pregnant by the end, but I'm dreading that moment with all of my heart, and I just can't see how it's possible. I'm really rooting for Leana. (Leah). I feel like I am her in a sense. The older, more sensible, more plain sister. I know what it's like to love and not be loved in return, the pain. And honestly, I think, that in her position, (I'm going to get burned at the stake for this) I would have probably done exactly as she did.
What touches me is that God's grace and mercy and willingness to simply love, despite all the mistakes, stupid things the characters have done, and bless them, and never leave them, is overwhelming. What amazes me even more is that I've noticed the same in my own life. He is faithful to his promise, and blesses us even when we definately don't deserve it. He has blessed me, he simply loves me despite all the stupid things I've done. I can't resist quoting that song by Pillar. I love it so much.
I'll end here because if my posts are too long, the sad truth is that nobody reads them.
packing
always a stressful moment in summer, packing for two weeks!! But sort of fun, in a way. You get to decide what to wear, need to prepare for any situation. Make lists.
For instance, I forgot to add socks to my list, so I will.
Sadly, I'll be leaving My Precious home. I'm guess I'll just turn it off :(
it's hard to pack, let alone do any other work, when I'm reading books I've been waiting to receive in weeks.
I promise to write about the books some more when I've finshed them. There's a reader's guide in the end of the book, and so what I'll do is try to type out my personal answers. With a bit of luck, and some googling, I should be able to find people online who either have done the same, or would do so, to share this reading experience. I wish all good books came with a reading discussion guide! If the idea catches on enough, I could start a new dedicated blog.
For people reading me now, I'm speaking of the series by Liz Curtis Higgs, beginning with Thorn in my heart. For now, I have bearly been able to put it down, and only to sleep!!!
For instance, I forgot to add socks to my list, so I will.
Sadly, I'll be leaving My Precious home. I'm guess I'll just turn it off :(
it's hard to pack, let alone do any other work, when I'm reading books I've been waiting to receive in weeks.
I promise to write about the books some more when I've finshed them. There's a reader's guide in the end of the book, and so what I'll do is try to type out my personal answers. With a bit of luck, and some googling, I should be able to find people online who either have done the same, or would do so, to share this reading experience. I wish all good books came with a reading discussion guide! If the idea catches on enough, I could start a new dedicated blog.
For people reading me now, I'm speaking of the series by Liz Curtis Higgs, beginning with Thorn in my heart. For now, I have bearly been able to put it down, and only to sleep!!!
waiting is biblical!
Ok, I can hear your resounding "duh"s coming at me right now. But I'm talking about waiting in general. Which, by the way, is the main theme of my blog, although every now and then I'll drop in a Calvin and Hobbes quote or my sister will show a hamster...
Anyway, even if something is God's will, or, better yet, a promise, sometimes, often actually, we have to wait for it anyway even though every bone in our body is saying "I want it to happen now". I'm sure David wondered WHEN he would finally be made king instead of having to run for his life. I'm sure Abraham was fretting as he and his wife aged, still without a child, for years on end, although God had made a promise. I'm sure Joseph was wondering why God had put him in a prison cell for years despite his innocence and a vision of greatness.
Moses really had a heart for delivering his people, and was so passionnate about it that it led him to murder. But he had to wait years (40 if I'm correct) between the time of his exile and the time he led the people out of Egypt, and another 40 until the promised land, which he never did enter, BTW.
My reasoning has often been false: "if God truely wants this for me, I'll get it at the soonest, most logical-sounding time".
Sometimes our logical, good, plans, fall to pieces and we don't understand why.
I think God doesn't care so much about the end results as he does about the path we took to get there and what we've learned, how we've grown more like Him in the process.
I was convinced I needed to go to sciences po. I tried the entry exam and failed it. But I think that I learned a lot through that experience, and now I'm beginning to see the greater picture.
There are other episodes of my life I could cite, but they are either too personnal or too dull or too recent for me to yet tell you of the big picture.
Anyway, even if something is God's will, or, better yet, a promise, sometimes, often actually, we have to wait for it anyway even though every bone in our body is saying "I want it to happen now". I'm sure David wondered WHEN he would finally be made king instead of having to run for his life. I'm sure Abraham was fretting as he and his wife aged, still without a child, for years on end, although God had made a promise. I'm sure Joseph was wondering why God had put him in a prison cell for years despite his innocence and a vision of greatness.
Moses really had a heart for delivering his people, and was so passionnate about it that it led him to murder. But he had to wait years (40 if I'm correct) between the time of his exile and the time he led the people out of Egypt, and another 40 until the promised land, which he never did enter, BTW.
My reasoning has often been false: "if God truely wants this for me, I'll get it at the soonest, most logical-sounding time".
Sometimes our logical, good, plans, fall to pieces and we don't understand why.
I think God doesn't care so much about the end results as he does about the path we took to get there and what we've learned, how we've grown more like Him in the process.
I was convinced I needed to go to sciences po. I tried the entry exam and failed it. But I think that I learned a lot through that experience, and now I'm beginning to see the greater picture.
There are other episodes of my life I could cite, but they are either too personnal or too dull or too recent for me to yet tell you of the big picture.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
calvin and Hobbes quote
If ignorance is bliss, this lesson would appear to be a deliberate attempt to deprive me of happiness, the pursuit of which is my unalienable right according to the Declaration of Independence. I therefore assert my patriotic prerogative to not know this material. I'll be out in the playground.-Calvin
today
it's raining and there's a real thunderstorm. There's hail, too.
tonight there's the big game.
I drove this morning. 2 hours and now I think I'm finally ready to pass my exam. I'll know the date by the end of July.
tonight there's the big game.
I drove this morning. 2 hours and now I think I'm finally ready to pass my exam. I'll know the date by the end of July.
3 ways to wait
There are 3 ways to wait. One is useful, one is neutral, and one can turn out to be a real catastrophy.
To illustrate this, I'll use the example of the bus. I have several hours of bus every week (sometimes every day!).
I can read textbooks or make important phone calls or talk to people and make new friends or devellop friendships. I can use that time to put my contacts in, or to type a report... to do something useful!
OR I can watch a divX on my computer, or I can do a couple Sudoku puzzles, or just listen to music, or sleep...
OR I can sit there, fret, say "are we there yet?" every 5 minutes and drive everyone crazy, including myself.
conclusion: always carry work of some sort along with me. I'll save time and frustration by diminishing actual waiting time.
To illustrate this, I'll use the example of the bus. I have several hours of bus every week (sometimes every day!).
I can read textbooks or make important phone calls or talk to people and make new friends or devellop friendships. I can use that time to put my contacts in, or to type a report... to do something useful!
OR I can watch a divX on my computer, or I can do a couple Sudoku puzzles, or just listen to music, or sleep...
OR I can sit there, fret, say "are we there yet?" every 5 minutes and drive everyone crazy, including myself.
conclusion: always carry work of some sort along with me. I'll save time and frustration by diminishing actual waiting time.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
purity rings
I stumbled accross this site as I was doing a google search to see if my blog showed up anywhere for "Waiting". lol
Abstinence-only accessorizing: purity rings for wholesome teens
I knew it was more and more popular in the States, but I had no clue how widespread it was.
I personnally have a bracelet which my uncle gave me, which symbolizes purity as a whole, that is drugs, alcool, language, personnal integrity (like not cheating on tests). I think it makes more sense, and it's a really pretty bracelet, too.
I thought these stats were interesting although saddening.
Abstinence-only accessorizing: purity rings for wholesome teens
I knew it was more and more popular in the States, but I had no clue how widespread it was.
I personnally have a bracelet which my uncle gave me, which symbolizes purity as a whole, that is drugs, alcool, language, personnal integrity (like not cheating on tests). I think it makes more sense, and it's a really pretty bracelet, too.
In a 2001 study published in the American Journal of Sociology, Peter Bearman, a professor of sociology at Columbia University, found that only 12 percent of the more than 2.5 million adolescents who had made a virginity pledge by 1995 remained abstinent until marriage. Abstinence pledges do delay sex for an average of 18 months, Bearman found, but those who break their pledges are a third less likely to use protection.
I thought these stats were interesting although saddening.
What's worse than being impatient?
Being impatient and curious!! Some people are just impatient, others are only curious. Some people can wait fine for their birthdays but just have a hard time not wondering what they will receive. Others don't really care, they don't think too much about what the actual content could be, they're just impatient for the day to be there.
I'm both impatient and curious. A real racoon. :p (n'est-ce pas Oli?)
I'm both impatient and curious. A real racoon. :p (n'est-ce pas Oli?)
summer bus
Tomorrow summer officially begins for the bus company I use to get to the city every day I have driving lessons. Which means there are less buses. Tis similar in the morning, but I fear that I'll be often "stuck" in the afternoon unless I take the train (3x more expensive, yet hardly any s'miles points). So I'll have to wait. Thankfully my best friend is in town tomorrow, so I can always meet up with her. Waiting is always easier with a friend.
s'miles
Does anybody actually use that card? Seriously, it's impossible to get 1500 points just by buying train tickets. That would mean spending that much money (1500 euros) just to get a free ticket. That's stupid. Nobody spends that much money!!! I sure don't anyway. Thankfully there are the promotions. Like just by signing up to their e-mail newsletter I get 600 points. Sounds like spam to me, but I guess that's the only possible way I'll ever get a free train ticket and I am a real uncle scrooge. I already have 500 points (400 for filling out a questionnaire on their services to say if I liked them or not) and 100 for buying groceries in Geant. Not one point for buying train tickets, because every time I'm too much in a hurry to actually bother to enter my code. The SNCF is nice, but too expensive. Much too expensive.
If ever I get that nice promotion, seriously, I'm crossing France. I'm going to make them regret giving me a free ticket!! *evil grin* I'm waiting for that day with impatience...
If ever I get that nice promotion, seriously, I'm crossing France. I'm going to make them regret giving me a free ticket!! *evil grin* I'm waiting for that day with impatience...
backseat driving :p
Today I drove two hours, but I also had "écoute pédagogique", where I can just sit in the backseat and watch someone else drive, make mistakes, be corrected by the teacher, and learn whatever that person is learning. Obviously you learn less that way than by actually driving yourself, but I really think it was helpful. Because now I have a different perspective on my driving. I also got lucky: this girl's lesson was the one where she was learning about the different parts of the car, like where all the different liquids are, how to check for problems. Which means I'll "lose" less time on all that with my own lessons. Might seem like a minor gain but when you're paying 30 euros per hour (standard price in France!!), it's definately worth it.
I also realized something. I'm not that bad at orientation, I just remember bus routes better. And with my own teacher we never follow similar routes to the bus ones. So obviously I don't know where we are.
And I was actually able to bring the car back to the school and park by myself this time :D
I'm getting better at parking, I think I've got the hang of it. My teacher told me to write it down and study my method because I'm not going to be driving for weeks because of my vacation. So I guess I'll do that.
Maybe I should write down absolutely everything I know to review it. Can always help. I'll look for a notebook tonight. I can't wait to have my licence!!!
I got new shoes today :D
I'm tickled pink: I LOVE new shoes. And these ones are very different from the rest of my shoes. They are classy sandals I can actually drive with. I can also walk in them. They are a pretty white leather (not black, as usual), and have no heels, which is nice for walking. I'm sort of short but I guess it doesn't matter. Not really. Very comfortable :D
if the bus is late again...
... I think I'll SCREAM!!!!! I'm so SICK and TIERED of that bus being late. It was fairly on time all year, but it's been 30 minutes late twice in a row. Tomorrow it doesn't matter quite as much since my driving lesson is at noon and not at 11, but STILL. I hate waiting especially with the knowledge that I could be in bed at the moment.
planning the future
Tomorrow I'm driving again (2 hours). I've been working on manoeuvering, so far it's kind of hard, so I've practiced on my parent's old car in the driveway, and I think I'm gettting the hang of it. It requires a lot of hard work but I think I can eventually do it.
I really want to get my licence on my first attempt.
It's kind of stressing me out to not know a date for the exam. I'm the type of person that likes to plan everything, if possible, years in advance. So not being able to print out a definate calendar for the month of July and August, that I will have hardly any changes to make to it, just BOTHERS me.
And I still don't know where to put all my stuff. Especially my books. I'm pretty sure I can cram the clothes in my closet somehow, and people don't really care how many guitars are laying about the room, but I just don't know WHAT to do with all my books. We're supposed to have guests this summer!
And also I don't know which trips I can go on. There are only 2 non-negociable events in my whole summer and the rest just depend on the date of my driver's licence and when I can get lessons and where I will stay...
I really should be more serene about this, but it's hard to not know.
You know, I don't even really know for sure yet if I'm taken into the school I want next year. I've done my application, but results don't come in until July 20th. I'm changing majors, and therefore colleges, which means my application needs to be accepted or I'll have to start from year 1. Which would be sad and I have no intention of doing that.
I don't have a job, either. But how can I get a job with a summer punctuated with incertitude til the very end?
And then a whole bunch of details stress me out. Not forgetting my bus ticket. Not forgetting my booklet. Charging my phone. Changing the strings on my guitar.
I really need to be less of a control freak. Trying to plan every detail of my future can only bring frustration and dissappointement. Because things rarely turn out how I've planned. Very rarely.
I really want to get my licence on my first attempt.
It's kind of stressing me out to not know a date for the exam. I'm the type of person that likes to plan everything, if possible, years in advance. So not being able to print out a definate calendar for the month of July and August, that I will have hardly any changes to make to it, just BOTHERS me.
And I still don't know where to put all my stuff. Especially my books. I'm pretty sure I can cram the clothes in my closet somehow, and people don't really care how many guitars are laying about the room, but I just don't know WHAT to do with all my books. We're supposed to have guests this summer!
And also I don't know which trips I can go on. There are only 2 non-negociable events in my whole summer and the rest just depend on the date of my driver's licence and when I can get lessons and where I will stay...
I really should be more serene about this, but it's hard to not know.
You know, I don't even really know for sure yet if I'm taken into the school I want next year. I've done my application, but results don't come in until July 20th. I'm changing majors, and therefore colleges, which means my application needs to be accepted or I'll have to start from year 1. Which would be sad and I have no intention of doing that.
I don't have a job, either. But how can I get a job with a summer punctuated with incertitude til the very end?
And then a whole bunch of details stress me out. Not forgetting my bus ticket. Not forgetting my booklet. Charging my phone. Changing the strings on my guitar.
I really need to be less of a control freak. Trying to plan every detail of my future can only bring frustration and dissappointement. Because things rarely turn out how I've planned. Very rarely.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
commented stats...
It's interesting. For the first time since I've started my blog, Windows users outnumber Mac OS users. Which means my audience has finally gone beyond just a few friends I sent a link to :p
56% use Windows (2% Windows 2000).
What surprises me is that 6% have disabled Javascript. Which means they can't leave me comments :(. That's sad. Perhaps I should restore the default settings (although I have so many windows open as is it, I hate having to have another window open just to read my comments).
My visitors are more and more international, as well. That's kind of fun to see where everyone is from. But my main audience is still from France and Belgium, which is strange because I purposely decided to write in English.
It's so hot today that I feel half-dead. Melted. Unable to do anything. I'm a weird person, and would take a trip to Iceland over a trip to South Africa any day. I'd love to visit the North of Canada, see the northern lights...
Sometime I should write about my dreams.
56% use Windows (2% Windows 2000).
What surprises me is that 6% have disabled Javascript. Which means they can't leave me comments :(. That's sad. Perhaps I should restore the default settings (although I have so many windows open as is it, I hate having to have another window open just to read my comments).
My visitors are more and more international, as well. That's kind of fun to see where everyone is from. But my main audience is still from France and Belgium, which is strange because I purposely decided to write in English.
It's so hot today that I feel half-dead. Melted. Unable to do anything. I'm a weird person, and would take a trip to Iceland over a trip to South Africa any day. I'd love to visit the North of Canada, see the northern lights...
Sometime I should write about my dreams.
Who would have guessed? France- Brazil 1-0
Well, apparantly my sister believed in it. Yann says he did too. I didn't watch the game, but I'm happy anyway. I guess I'll watch the final, maybe even the next game. I'll see.
Anyway France 1 - 0 Brazil !!!!!!!!!!!!!
People have been honking and screaming in the street for hours now lol it's kind of fun.
i'm not really into soccer but I like the festive aspect of the games.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Moved out for the summer
It always feels somewhat weird to pack up your stuff and leave. Stuff that USED to fit in your room at home, for some reason, just doesn't anymore after a year in college.
And I left some things, like my desk chair and printer... and posters.
I have so many books. It didn't FEEL like I actually bought that many, but I guess I must have because there's NO WAY they will ever fit on my bookshelf!
Surprisingly, my notes from classes and textbooks don't actually take up that much space. I guess if I printed out all I typed, though, it would take up more space. I'm keeping all that. Usually I just throw out most of my classes at the end of the year, but college is different.
It's nice to have my guitar at home. Next year I think I'll just bring my classical one to college, since I actually have more time to play on week-ends. It's too much a bother to lug it around so wherever I take it, it stays! LOL
And I left some things, like my desk chair and printer... and posters.
I have so many books. It didn't FEEL like I actually bought that many, but I guess I must have because there's NO WAY they will ever fit on my bookshelf!
Surprisingly, my notes from classes and textbooks don't actually take up that much space. I guess if I printed out all I typed, though, it would take up more space. I'm keeping all that. Usually I just throw out most of my classes at the end of the year, but college is different.
It's nice to have my guitar at home. Next year I think I'll just bring my classical one to college, since I actually have more time to play on week-ends. It's too much a bother to lug it around so wherever I take it, it stays! LOL
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