Saturday, April 28, 2007

My new website

My new website is finally up and ready :)
It's more "pro" and I'm sorry for all of my readers, but i really don't think I'm going to be blogging much here anymore (not that anyone actually cares).

My new website has some of my writing on it, but it's main aim is to be "pro"- show my webdesign projects, my programming projects, and be a contact page for people looking for tutoring or translation.
It also will contain some of my artwork as well as some tips, as they come to me :)

So here is the link : http://alessia.ovh.org

Friday, April 06, 2007

Webdesign

OK, so I havn't been posting much on my blog. But I've been very busy. I've been making a website.

Chambres d'hôtes à proximité de Dinan.
I hope you enjoy the design of it. To be honest, I'm hoping that putting links to it on my blog will help it's pagerank (mine isn't bad).

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

syncing V600i and the mac (bis)

I had a reader post a comment on a post with the same title, asking a question. Since it's a very old post, and the reader doesn't have a blog, I'll just answer on here.
No, with a V600i the adress book images aren't synced (which kind of did bum me out, but when you realize how little storage space you have on the phone, and how you can't buy more... it makes sense)
The V600i is a nice little phone if you don't want to use it as your primary mp3 player. I only can put up like 10 mp3s on it. It's also a nice little phone if you like visio from time to time, but the quality isn't excellent. The quality of the pictures is OK, if you have a "real" camera on the side to take pictures.
Let's just say it's not an ipod, camera and phone all rolled into one. It's a phone that can occasionnally be somewhat entertaining.
What's nice is it's pretty cheap if you buy it with a "forfait", I got mine with SFR.

And here's my advice concerning telephones. Motorola phones are cute. They are pretty cheap and work pretty well. But steer clear. After a year or so, the battery dies beyond repair and it won't even recognise the charger anymore. When that happens, there is nothing you can do about it.

Alcatal phones tend to get a lot of bad press, but they litterally last forever and their battery is great. I just gave my old Alcatel to my little sister and she loves it. Obviously it doesn't have all the fun little features the newer phones have, but its battery life is excellent (I can spend up to 5 hours on the phone and still have enough battery to keep it on for a day or so, or I can just leave it on and make 10-minute calls here and there for over a week!!!).

The "best" as far as the interface goes, are the Sony Erricson, and they are generally pretty sweet looking little machines, too.

But the best of the best is obviously the iPhone, iPod, Camera, Pocket Pc and telephone all rolled into one, mac-style ;)
If you want to iSync in style, I'd say that's the way to go (but you need money - lots of it)
And you probably also need to wait, because there are no phone deals supporting it yet in Europe at least. Kind of a bummer.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Ice-skating!

Today I'm going ice-skating... I havn't gone in almost a year now, so I'm pretty excited about that. Also I'm seeing some people I hardly ever see, which is even more exciting.

For the occasion, I decided to test l'Oreal's Color Pulse. I don't know what took me to say I got "copper red" last night- perhaps it sort of looked that color with almost no lighting, I was exhausted... And that's the color I would have bought if my hair hadn't been too dark for it to work. I actually got a sort of dark violine. What's nice is there are none of those products that ruin your hair in them, they are extremely easy to apply to yourself, and it goes away after 10 shampoos, and it is inexpensive (3.50 euros)

I like the result, but I am glad that it will go away quickly because then, instead of having to deal with "leffet racine", I can just get my hair back to how it was and choose to either dye it the same color again, leave it as it is (natural), or try one of the other color pulse boxes. And there is no risk. If a color looks awful on me all I need to do is just rule it out. Sadly, as I said, there's very little choice of boxes for brunettes with very dark hair.

When they were all the hype I never tried one because it was 10 euros per box.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

I really dislike real player

They want you to authenticate before downloading their software, and make you go through this long wait if you have a slow internet connexion for the authentication process, even if you're getting the free version.

And then, after finally getting your .dmg file, it won't mount!!! So I'm trying again but I really dislike real player right now.

It had better work now.

edit: I forgot to mention they have like 2 european mirrors!! Pathetic

Thursday, January 11, 2007

If my life were a TV show...

Do you ever wonder what the show would be about? Who the main characters would be? Would it be a drama or a comedy?

And, very important, what would the theme song be?

I'm glad my life isn't a TV show (that would just be weird). And no, I will NEVER do reality TV. But I just think those are interesting questions to ponder.

Would be kind of fun to create a video sequence with a theme song, pictures, even cartoon bits, to get some sort of idea, some sort of draft.

After 3 days of being very serious, I lost it and just started watching TV shows non stop, like I don't want to do anything else really.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Exams

Another one bites the dust...

Ok yesterday's exam went great. Two more to go :)

So this afternoon I have one, and friday I have another one. Then classes start back up.

This semester is going to be really busy. Last night I wrote out a list of responsibilities, and activities I plan to do regularly, and also some plans that I'd like to accomplish.

For instance, I have my first official webdesign job :)
Hope that works out good. Until now, all my webdesign I did for myself, or for school, or for my church, so not really a "job".
It'll be nice to be earning money again ever since I stopped my tutoring job, I hadn't actually earned any money.

I want to work harder on my classes, have a "normal" rhythm this semester. That's the main thing, but there are also other projects that tend to take time.
Not sure how it's all going to work out just yet.

For now I'll just concentrate on my exam. Back to work!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

french christian music

So you want to discover french christian music, but have no clue where to start?

Why am I saying this? Because considering the frequent keywords on my blog, I figure a lot of people who are interested in christian music and in france will find it. I also figure that you might wonder where to start as far as listening to christian music from France, especially since many french people are clueless because the french christian music scene is so tiny, because several albums and groups, although they have a good heart, just aren't something I would listen to, let alone spend 20 euros to buy a CD for, unless of course they were friends of mine.

This last song by Madison that I just posted the lyrics for, is a song that helped remind me what would bring me through, during one of the darkest periods of my life, when my everyday question was : " what for? "
I can only advise strongly that you buy Madison's album if you like gospel music, even if you don't speak french. If you're just curious to get a glimpse of french christian music, the 3 biggest groups out there, in my opinion, are Madison, Les Passages and Exo.

But those 3 groups, you're safe buying a CD from them, especially if you try listening to extracts from their albums first.

Les Passages and Madison both did a concert at Paques 2006, a huge french-speaking youth meeting that takes place every third easter in Switzerland, at the Geneve Bible Institute. There are some pictures in my photo album

Tout me vient de toi, by Madison lyrics

I just noticed something. Those lyrics are nowhere to be found google-searching on the world wide web and my blog is the only result for them!
And why is that? Because I mention the title in one of my posts!

So here they are:

Il est un nom
Toujours sur mes lèvres
Une chanson, gravée sur mon coeur
Car par ton nom j'ai été libérée
Et tout me vient de toi, tout me vient de toi

Une parole, une tendre voix
Qui me rapelle, tout au fond de moi
Que je suis libre, tu as tout effacé
tout me vient de toi, tout me vient de toi

Jésus, Jésus,
tu es le nom sur mes lèvres
la chanson, dans mon coeur
et tout me vient de toi
oui tout me vient de toi

Friday, January 05, 2007

Getting up early and polyphasic sleep.

As whoever read my new year's post knows, I want to readjust my sleep cycle this year.

Last night I was chatting with one of my best friends (at a shameful hour, I admit) and he sent me a link to a blog talking about polyphasic sleep.

I read through most of the posts and found them very interesting.

For those of you who don't know what it is, it's deciding to sleep 20 minutes every 4-5 hours during the day instead of all night. The "important" phase of sleep only lasts like 20 minutes, and you go through several cycles during the night, including unimportant ones, so a lot of the sleep is "wasted".
If you do polyphasic sleep though, apparantly there are no health issues (check the blog out for yourself).

Only problem with it is that it just sounds so abnormal! Being awake while everybody else is sleeping. And don't even think of having a job in an office (this guy works at home).
But as a college student it might be interesting to try.

I don't think I will though.

There was also a post about how to become an early riser.

That's more interesting for me, because it's more "normal" and I do want to be able to be an early riser, especially since this semester my 8:00 classes are actually important.

The method is simple, or so it seems. The idea is to go to bed when you feel tired (you need to jauge this by reading a book- I can already tell that it's impossible when on a computer) and wake up at a fixed hour, and get out of bed exactly when you hear the alarm, avoid the snooze button.

His idea is to "practice" obeying your alarm when you're conscious, that is during the day, to get in the habit of it.
I guess it's worth a shot. If it worked for him, might work for me.

An word of caution though : the other posts on the blog are really weird, almost occult. But the ones about sleep are common sense, so I found them interesting.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy new year!!

2007 (already).

So what about 2006?



Apart from a relatively short period of time I found absolutely awful, and an absolute failure at respecting last year's new year's vows, a good year.
I got my driver's licence, I know where I'm going as far as studies go (for now at least), and I am happy.
Hopefully the university won't be blocked again this year.

* Jan: nothing noteworthy. Perhaps the narnia discussion evenings
* Feb: beginning of university-blockage
* March: Code de la route
* April: Paques 2006 (a highlight of the year)
* May: Classes start again
* June: Exams
* July: ODDS
* August: Island of ré, Belgium... etc...
* September: New start in a new university and driver's licence
* October: Actux
* November: a blur
* December: webdesign



And now for 2007!


Goals and projects


* Get my year with honors if possible
* Go to the States
* Beat Zelda
* more... but not really blogging material

Traditional new year's vows


* Read my Bible in one year
* Go to at least 80% of my classes
* Stop bad habits (I want pretty nails!)
* Start playing my guitar again
* Go swimming more often
* Learn PHP, AJAX...
* Learn C, C++, and whatever I can. not sure what languages to work on really at this point
* Become a better typer. It'll be good for my efficiency.
* Work on the accessiblilty of my web sites. With handheld stylesheets, printer styles, keyboard shortcuts, total seperation of CSS and XHTML in my code. Make good site maps.
* Stop making a fool of myself
* Go to bed earlier (I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!)


I guess that's about it.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Randomness

I really like random things. Random songs. Random blogs.

Random songs



I have thousands of songs on my iPod. Obviously it would take over a year to listen to them all, especially since I tend to listen to about 5 different bands at one time, and it kind of rotates.
Right now I'm in my Scorpions/Jack Johnson/ Kansas/ Bee Gees phase. (don't try to find any sort of relationship. I just like different styles of music).
But then again I've had my W's/Lighthouse Family/ Within Temptation/ Kansas/ ELO phase.

How do I go from one "phase" to the next? Random play. I listen to random songs on my iPod when I get tired of the same albums, and I either hear something I like but didn't even know I had, let alone know what it is (I put all my parent's CDs on my iPod because I figure that's how I found out about Styx, Meatloaf, and SuperTramp for example- but that doesns't mean I know where all of it comes from), or sometimes I just hear a song I LOVE but hadn't heard in awhile.

*mental note: add the Queen CD I forgot to put on it because if I ever get in the mood for "I want it all" I'll go crazy*

Random blogs



I like blogs that stay on topic, it's nice if you like to have news about a particular technology, etc...
But I mostly enjoy random blogs like my own. Blogs where people mention their life but don't make it the focus of their blog. It's more of a material to add content that might interest the world.
A good book review, or a thought about a movie they saw, or just a random thing that happened to them during the day.
In my opinion, that's what's blogging is all about!
Not putting up a gazillion pictures of yourself and your friends. That's called a photo album (Dropshots is nice. Smugmug too.)
Not telling all the details of your life (although it can be funny if you get the right humoristic angle to it).

website building

I just bought the book Réussir son site web avec XHTML et CSS, and I'm pretty excited about starting to read it.

It's a book for beginners, and it's very well written. I'm not exactly a beginner when it comes to HTML, but I learned everything I know as I went, and I wanted a reference book to brush up on some details I didn't necessarily catch in the tutorials (especially in CSS and for forms).
I figure if it will help me have more standards-conformed code, and a better methodology to write it, I'm all for it!
After awhile, a patchwork of tutorials from more-or-less reliable ressources can get confusing, and with CSS it's easy to get mixed up.
Obviously there's documentation, and I consult it fairly often, but it is nice to have a reference book.
Plus I have a friend who wants to build a website and doesn't know where to start, he can borrow it eventually. :D
(and that friend doesn't know that bmp files are not good for the internet. his current webpage loads only in Internet Explorer and it takes a very long time to do so because the files are so huge-- especially on a 56k modem, which some people still have)
I'm not saying my websites are perfect- on the contrary.
But I want to make them better. For now I'm not personalising my blog because I'm too busy learning PHP. Eventually I might "move". I'm not sure yet.
Then again this blog is finally getting somewhere (I have a google pagerank of 3, and I appear in the top ten results for "Waiting, Wishing", which is amazing considering that it's the title of a song by Jack Johnson.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Un téléphone pour vous sauver la vie

Bonjour, j'ai trouvé cette info sur le site du Zéro, que je vous recommande d'ailleurs si vous voulez apprendre le PHP par exemple (c'était ce que je faisais quand j'ai vu l'article suivant). (un peu tronqué)

Admettons que vous avez un accident de voiture. Je sais pas pour vous, mais perso je me ballade pas trop avec mon carnet de santé en permanence. J'ai pas vraiment d'allergies ni de problèmes de santé connus, mais admettons que j'en aie. Les secouristes auraient besoin de le savoir au plus vite afin de m'apporter des soins adaptés (au lieu de me donner un médicament efficace mais auquel je suis mortellement allergique, par exemple).


Une idée anglaise


Un infirmier anglais ayant constaté qu'il est plus probable de trouver quelqu'un ayant son téléphone portable sur lui plutôt que ses papiers médicaux a émis l'idée d'utiliser ces petits bijoux pour servir leur cause.

L'idée est très simple et ne nécessite rien que l'on ne puisse faire avec son téléphone. Elle l'est tellement que toute la presse anglaise a transmis le message et qu'il est même parvenu de l'autre côté de l'Atlantique !

Il s'agit d'utiliser son répertoire téléphonique pour indiquer le numéro de téléphone des personnes à joindre en cas d'urgence. Afin de permettre aux secours de trouver rapidement ces numéros, ils ont instauré la norme suivante : le numéro doit commencer par "ICE". Si vous souhaitez en mettre plusieurs, il suffit d'ajouter un détail après ce préfixe comme par exemple un numéro (ICE1, ICE2 ...) ou un mot (ICE justine, ICE maman ...)

Simple, isn't it ? (traduction : Simple n'est-ce pas ?)

Mais, en France ?


Toujours en relation avec les secours, la première chose dont j'ai entendu parler qui se rapproche de ce sujet est la carte Vitale 2. Celle-ci, en plus de permettre aux médecins d'accéder à vos anciens dossiers et à la sécurité sociale de vous rembourser correctement, stockerait des informations importantes comme votre groupe sanguin ou vos allergies médicamenteuses.
Malheureusement, cette nouvelle mouture de la carte verte bien connue des français n'est qu'à l'état de projet balbutiant. Il faudra donc attendre plusieurs années avant de pouvoir la mettre dans votre portefeuille.

Que faire dans ce cas ? Imitons les anglais !

Sauvez votre vie


La méthode utilisée serait la même que la méthode anglaise mais dans notre belle langue :
Prenez votre téléphone portable.
Créez une nouvelle entrée dans votre répertoire.
Donnez-lui un nom commençant par "ECU". Par exemple, "ECU maman" ou "ECU papa".
Mettez-y le numéro de téléphone de la personne à contacter en cas d'urgence. Cela peut être quelqu'un qui vous connaît très bien ou qui peut avoir accès à votre dossier médical. Vos parents ou votre médecin traitant feront bien l'affaire.
Vous pouvez ajouter autant de numéros ECU que vous le souhaitez mais pensez qu'il faut bien les sélectionner. Un pompier ou un ambulancier ne s'amusera pas à téléphoner à tous vos contacts !

Vous êtes libre de mettre le sigle que vous préférez (ECU, ICE ou même SOS comme certains le proposent) mais l'idéal serait de fixer un et un seul sigle dans votre pays.



Mais est-ce que ça marche ?


C'est ici que l'affaire se corse. Pour que ça fonctionne il faut que la chose se répande !
La santé publique compte sur vous !
Parlez-en à vos amis, à vos enseignants, à vos parents ! Dites-leur de faire tourner l'information ! Bloggez-la ! Newsez sur votre site personnel ! Plus cette initiative prendra de l'ampleur et plus de vies seront sauvées !
Imaginez qu'un de vos amis ne soit pas au courant et qu'il lui arrive quelque chose ...


Friday, December 15, 2006

Blog spam

I've only recently had to deal with this. I don't really have time to delete dozens of messages about Viagra every day, so I put more restrictive rules on commenting on my blog.

What's worse, is if I have spam I don't necessarily realize it because my e-mail spam filter blocks out the notifications which contain spam messages!

I think I've got most of the messages out of the way, but if you come accross one in an post before november, please leave a comment to bring this to my attention.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Homeward Bound

Remember our good old friends, Shadow, Sassy and Chance?

Shadow, the wise one, the faithful one, the one who always kept his doggie-head on his doggie-shoulders.
Chance, the crazy one with a sad past, has a hard time trusting again. But he's fun, quick to complain, and quick to become friends.
Sassy, the well... sassy cat. Kind of somewhere between the two. A cat in a world of dogs, she complains about them but loves them, deep down.

One goal: to get home to their masters.
They would have been ok if they had stayed put. Their masters were coming back.

* lesson n°1: sometimes if you take things into your own hands out of lack of faith, you'll get home, but you'll make it hard on yourself and meet bears, porcupines, and mountain lions on the way.

So on their way... they discovered how to work together and be a team even when they didn't agree, they stuck up for one another.

* lesson n°2: cats aren't as strong as dogs, but they have gifts dogs don't have. To make it home, you need both cats and dogs, working together

They got spotted by some rangers and were brought to an animal shelter, the "bad place". Their masters were going to bring them home from there, but once again they ran away.

* lesson n°3: we don't always have the ability to understand why. Why things happen. Why we end up in the "bad place".

After running away, Shadow gets stuck in a mud pit with a broken paw.

* lesson n°4: even the best of us mess up, fall, get discouraged. sometimes want to give up altogether and be left for dead.

* lesson n°5: that's what friends are for.

I'm a geek, so what?

I always have been and I always will be.
This is an open letter to people who feel I've changed in a bad way. This is an open letter to anyone who is afraid of geeks.

Geeks can be scary. They know stuff about computers -- in fact they spend most of their time on them. They use verbs like "google it", phrases like "check it out on wikipedia". They think that /*no comment*/ is funny.
I'm the type of person who gets phrases like: "in a free world, why do we need windows and gates?"

Sometimes it gets to the point where it's all they talk about - or almost. Especially when they're learning.

But a geek doesn't have to know anything about computers. In our society that's what geeks are mostly known for- but you can be a geek and never touch a computer. Geeks are all about knowledge. At least I am.
Geeks can often cite from memory lines from entire movies, speak elvish (as defined by Tolkien), or read math books for fun.
I have always been a geek and always will be.
Geeks are interested in knowledge- general knowledge of course, but they have a special liking for the trivial!! Which can also be scary.

What's nice about being a computer geek is you can be paid to program. It's a special way of applying math, and logic, to create things and have a "real" job. (knowing Tolkien's works by heart or being able to compose an encyclopedia about Narnia would be fun -- but it's not a "real" job)
I started my interest in computers pretty late in life, and very fast, so that some of you don't recognize me anymore. But if you think- really think- it makes sense. I've always been the type to solve sudoku puzzles, I'm been obsessed with Narnia, Star Wars, many TV shows and science fiction in general. In high school I did math on my free time just for kicks, I'd try and see if I could prove the results and theorems we learned in class. I even programmed my calculator. I've always liked technology and I always thought it would be cool to know how it worked (remember when I played video games all the time?)
Another reason this isn't surprising is that I naturally have a love and feel for different languages. Programming is like learning to speak to your computer in a language it understands. It's also an application of math.

I've always been excited about learning. And since I specifically started to know computers late in life, I've learned a lot in a very short time. Which means, that to catch up, I work a lot. Hours every day. Learning what words mean. Learning how to program stuff.
And I finally feel like I'm meeting poeple who understand my way of thinking. Geeks are everywhere, but there are a lot more of them in computer science college! And in Japanese class (geeks tend to like Japan, too).

I'm still the same person. I'm sorry if I talk about computers all the time. (I'll try to work on that)
But it's what I do to work (studies), what I do for fun, and what my friends do. In college that's what most of my conversations are about. So I get used to talking about it.
But as I said, I'm the same person. I still love the Lord (and I'm a geek about reading my Bible, too!! I love studying it, going deeper into the text, reading commentaries, discussing it)
I still love sharing my faith and evangelism.
I still love playing the guitar, although I've lost the habit, which I regret, and I'm going to get back into it (guitarists are geeks, too. sometimes when talking to a guitarist about something completely unrelated, they'll get this LOOK in their eyes).
I still love math, although I feel slightly inadequate because I havn't been working on it as much as I used to. (I've been mainly concentrating on learning programming, and japanese)
I still want to go to Japan. If you really ever knew me, you know this.
I still love to read. For those of you who saw me this summer, my nose was almost always in a book. And not just geek-books. Fiction. Including a really good romance series.
I'm still romantic. I'm still with Daniel and very happy of that (2 years now!).

More about my relationship with God. I talk a lot less about it, but in a way, it's deeper than ever before. It's more real to me, more vital than ever. I know that without God in my life I am nothing. Perhaps you don't see that, blinded by the fact that I talk about computers.
But my geek friends all know I'm a christian who is serious about my faith.
Sometimes we have really good discussions about that, too. Debates. Generally, the people I meet are rather cynical about God.
I just don't talk about my faith in christian settings as frequently or as directly. You may need to start out with some "small talk" (NOT Smalltalk) first -- which makes sense. Often times you ask me about my day, and I say what I did. I rarely go into details-- but just ONE technical (not so technical, usually) term makes you think I'm into geek mode-- which I generally am not. Usually I say something like "today I worked on the website but I'm having trouble with my CSS" and then, unless you know something about CSS, I'm totally ready to talk about something else. Like how I'm doing spiritually, how you're doing, what you've learned.
At agape, well, there are other geeks. Including Yannick. So sometimes we talk about geek stuff and you get the feeling I don't talk about anything else. Perhaps since I don't come to ciné- discussion anymore you think I'm no longer interested in philosophical discussions, in long talks about God, grace and salvation (my favorite subject EVER). But talking spirituality just to talk about spirituality isn't my thing. (Anymore. Believe me, you don't want to know little miss Pharasee :p)

My blog. For one, I don't really have much time to blog anymore, and I try to stick to a topic. Computers. It's not like my Prodigal Son series was a huge success. I still write them sometimes, you know. I like writing. I even love writing. I just don't have time and I don't feel like people respond to my writing. So please don't judge the state of my life by my blog.

I'm having a lot of struggles right now in my life. I don't really want to go into details, but I don't really always want to talk about it. I have my up days and my down days, I have days where I snap at people, where I'm so tiered *yawn* but I'm working on that. I have days where I'm just so sick and tiered of always messing up on things I should know better. Don't we all? Don't we all have struggles? Isn't it a normal part of growing? And when I do want to talk about it I either feel judged or like people aren't listening.

But I also have my good days. And my relationships in general are better than ever. I have lots of friends, of the good sort, in college. Lots of casual friends, lots of closer friends, and I still try to stay in touch with my old friends (although sometimes I feel like they're not trying that hard). I still care about people. Geek doesn't mean heartless.
I've always felt so lonely and inadequate in groups, and I'm finally getting over that, I feel like finally people don't make fun of me as much anymore. College is a wonderful experience compared to high-school or worse, middle school.

Conclusion: take me as I am. I'm probably one of the rare people who is willing to talk about anything. Any topic. Try me. If I don't know about it, I'll read up on it on wikipedia! I want to learn, I want to grow,

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Deep dark secrets

In the first episode of the first season of Desperate Housewives, Mary-Alice kills herself. Why? She received a note, along the lines of "I know what you did. You disgust me. I'm going to tell".

It could very well have been a bluff.
I'm sure that if any of us received such a note, we'd all get chills up our spines. Some of us would change towns. Some of us would even leave the country. Others would try to kill whoever discovered their secret, and others would kill themselves.
Some of us would fess up and beg for mercy.
Some of us would have a nervous breakdown.

Others just wouldn't care. Perhaps some people wouldn't even be worried- they have no deep dark secrets. Although I would tend to doubt that.
We all have deep dark secrets, I wonder.... perhaps we even sort of need one to function. When I was a kid I had imaginary deep dark secrets. Or I would pretend that charaters in movies were me, and their secrets were mine.

Who am I?

Do people change?
Or do they stay essentially the same?

Is everything you say or do or think a reflection of your personality? Or can there be "freak" moments, where you're not really yourself?

Can you truely change? Or just reveal your true personality?

Old vs. new

Old friends, new friends...

I've made friends so fast I can hardly even believe it. And not just people to hang out with once or twice. FRIENDS. People I can confide in, people I'll go out of my way to see.
People I can talk to about my passion for Japan, or just hang out with, or talk about computers.
And then I have new friends I don't see that often.
And "old" friends I'm still in touch with (and am glad to be - they are people I can hardly imagine my life without)
And yet I still have my old friends, my true and tried relationships, the people I long to see. I can forget temporarily. But I miss them so much deep down. I still see them sometimes. I can hardly imagine my life without them. To be honest, I can name them: Oli and Joe.

This morning my brother and sister were watching the Swan Princess. Reminded me of when I was a kid and me and my best friend Cyril would watch that movie every single day after school.
He liked the sword fights, I liked the romance.

I miss Susanna. I miss Becky. I miss Cyril. Chelsea. Isaac. Peter. People from my past who I was very close to. Childhood friends. But it's not really painful. Just a fleeting thought here and there.

And then there are people I *should* miss -- but I don't really. I'm not even sure I really want to see them. Friends I'd be embarrassed to see again because I let them down. (sorry Kara)
Other people who I missed so hard, and so long, that the pain just ate me alive and I had to forget them. Now I've almost forgotten them.